Awwwwww set! Awwwww set! You know what time it is. It's the Bip
Report. Today, I have added a swarm of newcomers to the report. This
has the Bip Report total membership up to 95 people!!! Who will be
the lucky 100th member? I think I'll have a big celebration Report
when I hit the magic number.I want to make a reply to Sara Verga. Piercing your tongue? What's
with you girls? You and Gayna, I swear. My only opinion. I think
it's sorta neat to see, but I'm thinking the difficulties it would
cause on such things as eating would be too much to bear. As Ward put
it, "Hole in tongue equals no."Well I've just been studying more today. Damn, it sucks. It sucks a
lot. But if you ask me anything about the comparative governments of
Britain, France, or Germany, I'll answer it in about 2 seconds. Come
on, bring it on! The role of the British PM? Shadow Cabinet?
Cohabitation? French Bureaucracy? German Reunification? Bundersrat
and Bunderstag? I'll kick your a--!I also wrote a paper. Help me out HAWKs, help me out.
Today in the world of sports, Cal pulled an amazing 32-31 last quarter
comeback from being down 31-10 victory over 20th ranked USC. Hey, no
hard feelings, you three Trojans. Meanwhile, Stanford lost to
Oregeon. You tell me where the axe is going this year. Here's a
little math. Our record is the recipricol of Stanford's. And we only
loss to Nebraska.Remember how I said no Bip Report on the 12th and 13th? Well, I might
have a surprise. Carey Lew might take over the Bip Report for the
next two days. Carry the tradition Carey.*This is a warning I'm writing in hindsight. The next section is
angry and vulgar and deals with Fang.*In domestic news, with the absent of Fang this weekend, I have grown
to become extremely intolerant of him. It was so peaceful without him
here. I got a lot of work done by myself. It's a helluva lot easier
to work without Fang constantly muttering to himself, drinking,
telling me irrelevant things, calling his friends with the same
conversations over and over and over again. I'm sitting at my desk
CLEARLY studying. He declares to me that he is out of things to
drink. He says, "I need to buy some Boones for next week." F---!
Like I care? S---, I don't f---in care about your s--- anymore. Get
drunk, and die! F---in alky. He says it like he's f---in bragging to
me. He's some sort of f---in bigshot since he drinks by himself at
all hours of the day. F---! I hate him! F---in stupid s---. You
know what the people in the dorm did? They told him it'd be cool if
he shaved his head. They said it would be TC pride. So they made a
list, and he was all, "I want to sign!" and he was the first to sign.
He's gonna f---in shave his f---in head, because they told him it'd be
cool. F---! He's such a f---in moronic follower, it's f---in pissing
me off! He also told me he was arrested for shoplifting in high
school. I guarantee it was like, "Hey Fang, it'd be pretty cool if
you took that shirt there." So he does. Idiot.
And he has no sense of hygiene whatsoever. In addition to stinking,
he also doesn't brush his teeth. What the f--- is that? He goes down
to USC for the night. When I go on vacation, I TAKE my toothbrush.
He did not take it. S---. Plus when you look at the brush, it's all
nice. It's not flared at all. Pristine condition. You might think,
"Oh, he just changed it." Hell no! If you look at the neck region of
the brush, it's all crusty, signaling long-term exposure to the
elements. S---.
He's just pissing me off. I'm already in a tense mood cause of
midterms, but he is seriously pushing the limits. F---! You know
what he's doing now???? He's f---in got his hand in his pants, and
he's f---in scratching his crotch, in full view of me! What the f---
is this?!?!? Get yo dick fingers off my s---! He seriously better
not be touching anything that I plan to touch until he washes that s---.
Another thing. Fang has a big nose. When I was studying, he was
rubbing it, and pushing it in, and it's making these f---in nasty
sounds.
He made popcorn earlier. Here's how he got the popcorn. He asked his
parents to mail it to him. S---! I'm sure we all get care packages,
but I'm also sure they consist of goods we can only get in Hawaii,
such as kakimochi, li hing products, etc. You can get microwave
popcorn, f---in anywhere in the world. You can go to any f---in store
and buy it for cheap. What the f--- you need your parents to send it
to you for?
So he pops the bag. And he starts eating it all by himself. And he's
not doing anything. Who eats popcorn alone? He doesn't even offer me
any (not like I would take any from that sick bastard). He just sat
down and ate a whole bag of popcorn for no reason at all.
Holy s---. No, no, no. What the f--- are you doing now, Fang. S---!
I swear this is all true. Dear lord, I swear he is f---in his bed!
He's making crude pelvic thrusts into his sheets! F---! S---!
F---!!!! What the f--- did I do to get stuck with this f---in s---
roommate??!?!?! F---!!!!!!!!
I hate Fang!!!! I hate him!!!! I hate his f---in guts! S---!!!!!
F---!!!!!!!!!! ARRRGHHHHHH!!!!!!!
I cannot coexist with this guy much longer. He pisses me off in ever
way imaginable.
Okay, I'm sorry folks. But, again, I'm rather tense because of
midterms. And he is just adding to the problem. I'm sorry.
Until next time...Ugh, I can't even say it.
BIP