Welcome to the Final Bip Report for this year.
"Next Semester"
The BR will continue next semester with brand new stories of brand new people and roommates and whatnot. Tune in then!
"The Top Ten E-Mails"
As promised, here are the top ten E-mails I have recieved here, and a brief explanation of why.
10. Any E-mail from Blaise. For some reason, when I get stuff from Blaise I feel, "Wow, people really do read the Bip Report." And I am happy.
9. Mona's thing with the UC Class addy. This is for school purposes. Without this page, I would have been more or less screwed for classes, and I couldn't access it without this E-mail, thus making this E-mail more or less important and good.
8. Kano Skeptic Web Site. This one was great for proving to people that these frickin forwards are nothing but stupid s---. Such as Halloween murders, HIV needles, trip to Disneyland, etc. I actually had concrete proof to tell these foolios that send this s--- to me that your ass be wrong.
7. The only Drew story I ever got. This was exciting cause it was Drew. And that's always a good thing. Plus it's all long and it's a story.
6. First Onaona E-mail I got. I was very much pleased to find I was on the Onaona mailing list. Very pleased. I think the Onaona mass letters are the best, and whenever they come, it's all good. But the first one was the funniest.
5. Bryan Taylor anti-forward thingy. This was just a funny little letter that bashed all the stupid forward letters all at once. It took bits and pieces of each, and rolled them into one big ball of cynical fun. Very good stuff.
4. David Ching Star Wars list. That Top 10 things you want to hear Samuel L. Jackson say in The Phantom Menace. Very funny indeed.
3. First Nolan cotton-eyed Joe story. It seems all the beginning E-mails were all the best. Whatever. This was like the first Nolan Report, and frickin the only one that was worth anything. Nah. But yeah, good anyway.
2. Bench Ohana feat. Tripton. I think this was the second Bench Ohana I recieved. However, in this particular issue was Tripton's match-ups, all of which were hilarious as hell. I could hardly breath after reading this one. Tripton, this was most excellent indeed. Things like this can't be faked. It has to come from the heart.
And the Number One E-mail I recieved? Well. Let me talk about it a little first. This E-mail exemplified everything an E-mail should be. It was short, yet not too short. It addressed topics in my life, specifically those mentioned in the Bip Report. That kind is the best, since I also know you read this thing. It was done in a style so classic, so like the person, that it could never be imitated no matter how hard a person were to try. And finally, it is the winner because it is just damn funny. The winner of the best E-mail that I have ever recieved at Berkeley is....
1. David Mun. Reply to Bip Report 12/7 concerning the Fang Beatdown.
Sup Bip,
all i can say, bip is that you tha man. too bad i have two finals back to
back on the 9th and 10th, else i would be sooooo willing to help ya out.
anyway, give it to him Godfather style, nothing in the world can beat it.
And if it means anything to ya, you have my complete endorsement on this
whole schinanigan. complete, total, and whole. if he ever bothers you
after this, send him to me, and i'll just have to work him, Papa Mun style.
anyways, keep up the reports, and give me a ring sometime. else see you
back home.
Forever the One
Papa Mun
Congratulations Mun! I have like 900 E-mails on my Yahoo account, and maybe 200 on this one. So out of 1100+ E-mails I have recieved here, YOU are the winner. MUN IS THE ONE!!!!
"The Runners Up and the Worst"
The Runners up are Reid's E-mail about college spirit and Josh's "Back in the Island" Wav.
The Worst E-mail is clearly the Cindy & Gayna version of the Bip Report. Clearly the worst because it frickin destroyed my entire Eudora system, and I had to reinstall the whole thing. E-mail crashes, long dl times, the works. Plus the them was "Bip is Gay" and while writing, I was thrown out of the room, locked out, and forced to listen to them cackle and figure out their cryptic sayings as to where my backpack was. Terrible in general.
Runners up are Mike Yang's response to my poem. This one for two reasons. One, it's a Bip dis in rhyme form. Two, it started the Footbal Rivalry War. Nuff said.
Second runner up would be any stupid E-mail I have ever received.
So thats the lists.
"Back in the Islands"
So I'm coming back soon. Huh. Brace yourself baby.
Until next time, until the Spring. Last time you'll hear it for a while, so everybody now, diamonds are forever and so is the Bip Report.
BIP