Prepare for trouble, and make it double.
To protect the net from devastation,
To untie all people in our E-mail nation,
To denounce the forwards for suckers and love,
To extend my reach to the stars above,
Bippy
Report
The Bip Report blast off at the speed of light!
Read it now, or prepare to fight!
Meowth, that's right!
Welcome back everybody to the first Bip Report of the new semester and the new year. It's good to be back folks. Many of you have been wondering where I have been, what has become of the Bip Report? Most of you have been in school for weeks now, without a single Bip Report. Well I'm back, and we're bringin it to ya for the rest of the year. So enjoy enjoy.
"So What Happened Anyway?"
Well, for starters, we only started school this week. Therefore, there would be no reason for me to put out the Bip Report any time earlier. Most of you are already well into the year, but we are just started. Secondly, I am no longer using a modem, but rather ethernet, which is mad faster. But it took me awhile to set up the account and get the whole thing going. But now its up and running, and despite the fact that my computer enjoys freezing a lot nowadays, the Report is still able to come out.
"Future Layout"
So I've thought about it. Does everyone want to get a massive Bip Report file? I'm thinking no. People might be all excited for like the first story. And then the attention wavers. Like most of you will know why the Bip Report is so late in coming. But few people will know the future layout. It's like that. So what is the future layout? For the next week, this is how I'll be bringing it to you, so as not to have this particular Bip Report to be chokest long.
Monday - No match ups. Instead, a recount of my "Wintertime Freak Show."
Tuesday - Bip's Best of '98 Best movies, music, and events. You know, I'd liked to be cultured, and be able to say books too, but I can't. So you get those three best ofs.
Wednesday - The rest of winter's finer points plus the first weeks in Berkeley.
Thursday - The new roommates and housing situation. Answering the question, "How can the Bip Report survive without Fang?"
Friday - All new set of complaints of which I always write about, and no one really wants to hear. But hear them you will.
Saturday - Back to the day by day whatevers.
"New Features"
Oh yes. We are always looking to improve. Always, always, always. The readers are A-1 top of the line, as far as the Report is concerned. As such, I am announcing some new ideas. It appears to me that over the winter, I learned not everybody always reads the Bip Report (there's a surprise, huh?). So you therefore have a new option with the Report. You can get the Bip Report as is, or you can get the Bip Report Minus, which means you get every other days report. How's that sound? And you can always order back issues if you think you missed a critical thing.
Most programs are called "blahblah Plus." But if you don't want the Bip Report, you don't get a plus for that. You get a minus. So if you want to subscribe for the Bip Report Minus, just reply to this and say that's what you'd like. Gayna, your subscription is being processed now.
I consider making a Bip Report Gold, but what the hell would that do? You get extra Bip Reports?
"Cancellations"
Also, if you don't want the Bip Report, just say so. Then there is the issue of changed E-mail addresses. I will have to correct those. And then there's people who aren't in the same school or whatever. If you have a different address, and have checked your old one to get this, then tell me what the new one is.
Also, if you know people who want the Bip Report, tell me too. Someone give me Shaina's and Scott Ogawa's E-mail, cause they told me they want it. I'm not sure if they knows what they be getting into but here we go, huh?
So that's that. The first Bip Report of the new semester. A little matter of fact, but hey. That's how it goes. Big thanks to Jeff for the mention in the Punahou Bulletin, the Bulletin featuring coverboy Randall "Pride of ' 01" Mizuno. And also to Nolan "Clutch Taping of the Royal Rumble" Hong.
Alright then. Until next time, diamonds are forever, and so is the Bip Report.
BIP