Welcome to the Bip Report.
My first item of business is does anyone know who [email protected] is? I thought it was Tenzen Getting Jigme Wit it. But after getting a harsh "Oh no, not this s--- again!" response to the Bip Report Trailer, and then a "It means shut the f--- up!" response to my response to his response, I am confused. That's my little story. Here, as promised is the WIntertime Freak Show edition. But before that...
"Jr. Miss What?"
When you win Jr. Miss, what exactly are you? They simply call it Jr. Miss. Jr. Miss what? Jr. Miss Hawaii? That's what I assume it to be, but hell, it could be anything. Anyway, I bring this up because one of us on the Bip Report was some sort of finalist or something. Who? None other than Zoe Tanaka. For more information on this, you may check out this website. It has a nice little picture of Zoe. She looks all happy. You'll however note that Zoe has decided to forego the standard hold-hands-with-other-contestants and is on her own. The other two girls are holding hands, but not Zoe. I wonder why. Website is http://starbulletin.com/1999/01/25/news/index.html
"The Making of a Freak"
When I decided to go to Berkeley, congruent with this decision was the decision that I was going to come back looking like your typical Berkeley freak. That was 7 months prior to Winter Break. College came, and my idea was reinvigorated by the myriad of tatooed, multi-colored, trashily dressed, multiple pierced wierdos and gutter punks littering Telegraph Ave. and the campus. "Yes, this will be good," thought Bip.
The two weeks before coming back, all things were ready to be made. Through much help of the awesome Mariel, the beast was born. Jewelry was bought, hair was bleached twice and dyed, clothes were found. All throughout the year, my hair was never cut, and a month before, I stopped shaving. All this created a dirty appearance. For those that never saw me, I had shock blue longish hair, collar, several bracelets, painted fingernails, corduroy pants with leather bondage belt, and a black fishnet shirt (which I never wore after exiting the plane for fear of getting beaten). It was quite freakilicious, as you may well know.
"The Reactions"
I planned to keep this up until Christmas. My parents reaction was decent. Mom was freaked out. Very worried and concerned. Dad looked at me once, and started laughing. After continuous laughing I said, "Fine, it's a joke." And I told my parents to play along for my friends.
Everyone that saw me probably remembers their reaction. But here are some of my favorites and whatnot.
"People Who wanted to Kill and or Otherwise Maim Me (in order of appearance)"
Nolan Hong, Jon Ayson, Derrick Abe, Ryan Tanaka, Zoe and her Mom
"People Who Liked It"
Takasawa, Kelly. That is all.
"Best Reactions"
Doug Shimokawa - Absolutely no reaction at all. "Oh, hi Bip. Greg got your message." Walk away.
Abe - Without even having seen me, a very long and harsh condemning of my newfound look. Much swearing and threating of death. But all in good fun.
Ryan - Despite knowing what I would look like, he still yet was ready to kill me.
Some girl at Kevin Suzuki's house - I don't even know who this girl was, but it was pretty damn funny. Abe was seeing me for the first time, and he made a very big deal about how terrible this was. Specifically, he was badmouthing the choker necklace. The necklace is a bunch of large ball bearings stuck together, with some kind of blace wire over the front. The funny thing was Abe was going off about this necklace, while behind him, there's this girl wearing the same kind of necklace. I started cracking up when she slowly reached up to remove the necklace, and put it in her pocket.
Zoe and Zoe's Mom - At first, Zoe had absolutely no reaction. Then she's like, "Oh my gosh. I have to show my mom." So we walk down to see her Mom at McNeil road. And Mrs. Tanaka's reaction was priceless. For 30 minutes she stood there lecturing me, and saying, "Biiip. How terrible! Look at you! How do expect to get a girlfriend looking like this? Bip, look at you! I don't like this at all. All the while Zoe is picking the leaves off of the fence, ripping them up, and throwing them at me. Finally Zoe gets into the car, and starts yelling at her mom to get in and go. "I don't want to look at Bip anymore! let's go!" It was funny.
"Most Unexpected Reactions"
Chad Giannetti - very cool with this. The boy had no care about this at all.
Lauren Arakawa - Very cool about this. She was happier to show me to people as if to say, "Look at this thing I found, isn't it wierd?"
Kelly when I told her it was a joke - Very dissappointed that I wasn't actually a freak.
"What I learned from this"
Several things.
"Lesson 1 - Freaks are good people"
Freaks are very nice people. They're like the coolest people you can meet. If you are nice to them, they will be even nicer to you. All this goes to say is don't judge a book by its cover. These people are choke nice if you give them a chance. Except for the Satan people. You gotta watch out for those guys. By nature, Satan people WOULD be evil.
"Lesson 2 - Very Judgmental World"
Most people I know are extremely look orientated. Obviously I am the same Bip. If you read this at all, you would have realized I was the same person. When I talked to people, I didn't change anything. But I just looked wierd. So most people were choke dick to me. This all goes to show that people are very close-minded. This is like a psych experiment for me, and since I got an A in UCJuCo Psych, I fancy myself some sort of pyschoanalyst. Don't be so prejudiced, you asses. I know I am, and part of this whole charade was to teach me to be less judgemental, and it worked.
That's what I learned.
Okay, I think that about covers the "Wintertime Freak Out." So in conclusion, yes it was a joke. So no worries.
Until next time, diamonds are forever, and so is Freakness.
BIP