It's the Bip Report. Okay. I've made a realization. I'm just gonna keep writing the Bip Report as is. If you don't like it, hey, get your own show. You don't want it, tell me, but you can continue deleting or just letting it sit there if you like. I don't care anymore. IT's an epiphany I tell ya. Bip does not care. It just doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. (cite Meatballs. haha)
"Fang"
Fang just repulses me. I can't stand to look at him anymore. He seriously makes me sick. He is really an ugly guy. I mean, I've seen ugly people before, but Fang takes the cake. He has nappy hair. He is all oily. He has a large nose. The only thing missing is some sort of mouth/lip defect such as "nasty girl." But nonetheless, I find Fang aesthetically repulsive. Looking at Fang is similar to the Greeks notion of Medusa, Gorgons and such. It is the face of death. It really makes me sick to look at his ugly face. If I get a web page, you can all see him. You will understand what I'm talking about. He is just one ugly motha. Like when Arnold gets the Predator to unmask itself. That is Fang.
The worst part about is, however, is that Fang believes himself to be God's gift to women. How he has created this notion is beyond me. Lightyears beyond me. Thousands and thousands of lightyears beyond me. I'm in hyperspace, frickin warp 10, and this notion is still beyond me.
I got a call from our man Ryan Tanaka today. Apparently, Ryan called earlier while I was at Reese's playing Worms. Ryan talked to Fang. Fang insisted that Ryan hook him up with someone from BYU when Fang returns to his native Utah. Ryan, being the nice guy that he is, says okay. Ryan however does not know Fang is A) a jerk and B) ugly. GEtting a girl for Fang may prove a difficult task for even Ryan. Fang feels he can get any girl that he pleases, and believes that the arts of courtship are not difficult at all. He feels that once he selects a girl high enough to meet the Fang standard, that girl is his. I really don't know where he gets these ideas.
I decided to play along, and encourage the idiot. I explained to him that he is a mack daddy, and in a very Brandon Lee fashion, told him that "He hit dat." Fang believed this. I have added to his ego. I consider this "amusing."
Did I mention Fang is an idiot? He is. He is just stupid. He has no ideas about how social actions should be conducted. And he is actually intellectually stupid. He got into Berkeley by manipulation of his school's inferior system. I hate Fang. I hate him.
"ICQ"
Give them numbers baby. I'm finally getting it.
"Starcraft meets Dawson's Creek"
I was shocked to find Jay and D are Dawson's Creek fans. Shocked and chagrined! Mortified, stupified! But there are a lot of girls on the Report, so for their sake, I will not cut down Dawson's Creek. We made names for ourselves. ][)awson's Creek! on_the_WB. I was on_the_WB. It was funny. We beat some people like this.
A lot of you don't know what I am talking about. It is unimportant. You need not know. Suffice to say we have expanded the world of Dawson's Creek. Actually, the show was on tonight. What will happen with the affair teacher back? What will become of Dawson and Joey? Mysteries abound on the WB Wednesday.
This has been another sub-par Bip Report. But you know what? I don't care! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I'm tired. Until next time, diamonds are forever, and so is the Bip Report.
BIP