Hello and welcome to the Bip Report. I think I should develop some sort of standard opener as well. Or I could possibly do it like Conan O Brien. Okay, I'm bouncing around right now, and pointing to Fang, who will have to do as Andy Richter.
"The New Image"
I've got a new slogan for the Bip Report. Like everything else in my life, I've merely stolen it off a successful campaign. The new Bip Report slogan is, "Image is nothing." The Bip Report no longer cares if it sucks. I will possibly invite Carey Lew for more guest appearances. Well, you know I'll still try to bring out the quality, but I am only one man. (I don't know what that is supposed to mean)
"The Ayson Report"
Yes I know it is Yellowman Live, but I call everything the ______ Report. You're kickin my a-- buddy! 14K! The Bip Report cannot compete with that. I am pleased to see you have adopted the headers. I feel I have in some way made an original contribution to the world of E-mail. I also see that you have new readers. Is Yellowman Live the new shining star of E-mail? Maybe so, maybe so. But if you reach the top, here's a warning. These people are animals! They'll rip you apart first chance they get! They're remorseless devils, and will not stop until they have reduced your Report to nothing, and broken your will to go on! I used to be at the top there, strutting my stuff, thinking I'm cock-of-the-wock. Now look at me...I'm in the dumps living with three mangy dogs, and a beat up pepsi cup. Don't turn your back on these readers for a second or BOOM! They be all up in your business, and they ain't gon stop till you're on the floor doing some stuff with the stuff of...I don't have anything to end this with. Just watch out Jon! Fear the wrath of the readers!!!!
"Look at Bip"
Look at me. I'm an insane lunatic. Babbling on about nothing. Crap.
"Soccer news"
The Cal Hawaii club is also engaged in Men's B soccer. It is like our soccer, except intense. I don't play. But Greg, Reese, Carey and Jon van Horn do. They won 2-1 today. It is a good season for soccer. Ward is in Boston. If Wayne even reads this anymore, um... Ward is there. But you know that.
"Cowboy Update"
I saw Cowboy again. I gave him 51 cents on the way up. TWO QUARTERS. That's big money right there. Two quarters are worth so much more than 50 cents. Cowboy was very appreciative. On the way down, I gave him 22 cents, dime, nickel, pennies. Remember, the deadline is Nov.7. Get the Cowboy cash in by then!
"Halloween"
In the past, Bip has done some pretty good Halloween costumes. Kerri Strug in 96 and Haupia Sweet Potato Pie in 97. Halloween 98 will not showcase any fancy costume, as I have no money. However, I will be having a costume. I'll tell you about it later. (I kinda needed you on this costume Jennifer. If ya smell what I'm cooking).
Kay then. Times up for me. Until next time, diamonds are forever, and image is nothing.
BIP