Okay folks. This is it. The biggest Bip Report in the history of Bip Reports. I'm even sending it to myself to see how long it is. I hope I don't lose you folks along the way, cause this thing is gonna be hella long, yet hella tite as well. So let's get this mutha started. I'm thinking chronological.October 30
"Cowboy"
Okay, I went to go meet Gayna and Cynthia to buy Halloween costumes. We were walking down Telegraph, and I realize this is Prime Time for Cowboy. I check my wallet and lo and behold, no change! So I demand that Gayna and Cindy empty out their spare change for Cowboy. We had a good deal in there. 88 cents. So I'm all stoked about giving it to him, and Gayna and Cindy were small kine excited to see the fabled Cowboy. However, we had to stop at the bank first, because the costume buying would be a large monetary expenditure. We leave the bank, and proceed down Telegraph, when who should we see but Cowboy. But Cowboy was not at his normal spot. Apparently, he was done for the day, and was heading back where ever he goes to sleep at. We were waiting to cross the street, and he came up right behind us. I tell them, "Oh my gosh! It's him! He's right behind us!" Hopefully he did not hear this, but I was rather excited, and might have said it loud. It could possibly offend him, so I hope he didn't hear. We crossed the street, with Cowboy in tow. I didn't know what to do. I felt awkward to give him the money when he is not specifically asking for money. I ended up not giving it to him, but it is still in the fund. The point of this story is that Gayna and Cindy saw Cowboy, and we walked across the street at the same time as him. The ever critical Gayna even gave Cowboy her official seal of approval. "Yeah, he looks like a pretty cool guy." That meant a lot to me. Thank you Gayna. I appreciate all the support for Cowboy that I can get. Remember, send money by Nov. 7 to the
Cowboy Fund
c/o Daniel Kawamoto
2490 Channing Way Rm. 408
Berkeley, CA 94704
Nov.7 will be a big payday for Cowboy. I can't wait."The Arrival"
The majority of the night consisted of waiting for Scott and the Davis contingency to get their slow asses down. The Davis contingency is Kevin Pien, James Mang, Zion Zhou, and Lisa from LA. After they finally got here at around 11, we headed up for Bowles (near Gayna's place) for a little pre-Halloween festivites. We basically got there, picked up Gayna and Cindy, and headed over to Foothill where the Davis contingency spent the night. Except for James. He stayed with Mike Yang. Mang blood runs deep. However, let it be noted that James said, "I would wear a Punahou shirt." I would not be caught dead with an Iolani shirt on. If I were dead, and someone put an Iolani shirt on my dead body, it would reanimate itself, rip the shirt off in Hulk Hogan styles, and proceed to stomp and spit on the shirt in a Pat Nelson manner.
Since the Davis folks got there so late, I got home late. We cruised a while at Gayna's place, and then went home. On the way over, we saw Jon van Horn. This was surprising as it was 3 AM. There is no point to that story actually. So we got back, and I went to sleep.10/31 Halloween Day
"RSF"
Apparently in Davis, there are no adequate lifting facilities. So we got all possed up, and headed over for the UC Berkeley RSF. We lifted, and did this and that. I attempted to bench 200 pounds, but got stuck three-fourths there for an extended period of time, and ended up simply destroying my ability to lift for the rest of the stay. So I basically fiddled around with stuff, and laughed at the 3 pound dumbell."The Costumes"
Gayna had some silver dress, silver wig, and silver eyelashes. She was supposed to be "future girl" but ended up being "disco." Cindy put together a nice little frontier woman outfit. She was called "daniel Boone" and "Pocahontas." I never got the Pocahontas name. Pocahontas is an Indian, is she not? When have you ever seen a picture of Pocahontas with a coonskin hat? Never. In fact, the white settler is the arch-enemy of the Indian. This is a terrible case of mistaken identity. By the way, keep in mind that Cindy's outfit entailed a coonskin hat.
The rest of us decided to go as people we know here. Carey had a piss poor costume of Jon van Horn. I don't know what he was trying to accomplish. Greg went as the one and only Fang. Reese went as his roommate, Wei Whan. Mona went as Morton salt girl. Scott Aoki went as "pink jumpsuit guy, with a sleeve on his head, and goggles." James went as a woman. Kristine Kaibara went as china girl. Xxxxx-Yyyyyyy-Zion went as a Hawaii guy. Actually, Zion is from Hawaii. He went to school at Mid-Pac, and was there for education as his parents are wealthy Taiwanese industrialites. He drives a souped up Integra (much like Davis Kurihara-Nakasu), and lives in Hawaii Kai. What street? Um....Waikiki.
Personally, I went as the one and only Mike "The Mang" Yang. I was equipped with Abercrombie & Fitch hat, glasses, wife beater, and board shorts. I busted out such moves as "roll the shoulders", "bounce the shoulders", and the all popular "Robocop."
Since majority here don't know Mike Yang, there is no point for my costume descriprion to you. No point whatsoever. Let us just say it was "hella tite.""The BART wait"
Gayna, Cindy, and I were planning to go in and meet the Davis contingency, and Jana Park and Sunny (Jana friend) on the Castro. However, Gayna and Cindy were an hour late to meet me at the BART station. They accused the shuttle system of not picking them up on time. I attribute it to it being Gayna and Cindy. So I waited in the BART station. I got to see some pretty cool stuff. I liked "Campanile man" who was dressed as our school tower. I had a rare Bret Heilig sighting, who was dressed as Bret Heilig. In fact, there were many a Goth running about. I hear that the little guy on "Home Improvement" is now Goth. I find this amusing. I liked Monica Lewinsky. It was not a great impression, but she actually wore kneepads, and I thought that was sort of funny. I think it would be funnier if she had the blue dress on with stain and whatnot. I liked the Clockwork Orange people the best though. Complete with white jumpsuit, derby, cane, eye thingy, suspenders, and the catcher, jock strap with cup, the Clockwork Orange folks were my pick of the night, simply because they did such a good job. There were some good people, so I suppose the wait was not all that bad.
The most amusing thing was seeing the gutter punks who look wierd anyway. I couldn't tell if they were in costume or not. The line of the day goes to one of the gutter punks as we got off the BART. "Look at all these freaks!" I love a good irony, and I appreciate a fellow who can create such irony."The Adventure"
So we get off the BART at 9:30 in SF. Chances look slim to meet Scott folks. Keep in mind that BART closes at 12, so much like Cinderella, we would have to get to the BART before midnight, or we would be stranded in the city. We stand and try to get a trolley to take us into the Castro. A trolley comes, and it is packed to the friggin brim. It was pretty cool to look inside the Trolley, and see all these crazy costumes packed together in a bus. It was Twilight Zoneish. ANyway, we decide "No good" for the trolley. Fortunately, Gayna randomly decided to take a picture with these two ladies dressed as pirate and Elvira. When the trolley left, they invited us to share a cab into the Castro. We accepted.
We went to go catch a cab at a hotel. There is a guy whose job is to blow a little train whistle and get cabs over. But as he was doing this, there was some sort of car that pulled up, and they proceeded to get into a heated argumetn with whistle guy. I had visions of mafia -like beatdowns, and taking this guy "for a little ride." The point is that whistle guy was not able to do his job, and taxis were not picking us up. So Bip had to go flag one down. We got in, but no cab driver is crazy enough to go to the Castro on Halloween. SO he says he'd take us 4 blocks away. We agree. We get on Market, and we see this amazingly long line of cars going to Castro. Daaaaaaaamn! So we get out, and we walk on over to the Castro. Let me also say that "future girl" wears high heel boots, and so does Daniel Boone. So we're mosying along, and it's 11 already. We call Gayna's brother, who lives in on the Castro with several other men (not that there's anyting wrong with that. noooooo he's not gay). That in itself was an adventure, and I got a Mars bar out of it, so I was happy.
We finally get to Castro."The Castro"
As Greg says, "Wierd multiplyed by wierd." Much cross-dressing, much wierdos, much freaks. But it was pretty cool. There were all sorts of crazy costumes, but the best costumes are the ones with a bunch of people in a big posse. We got some pictures with some posses. It was basically a big drunken block party. YeeeeeHaw. Like Mardi Gras without the floats. Madness I tell ya. So we went up, and then we went back down. It was 11:30."The Adventure Back"
We ran down the street, and got to a bus stop. 20 blocks in 30 minutes? Hell yeah. We stopped and talked to some people from that crappy Tree school. Are you folks happy? We gave your tree back, so you can stop crying. We were rather fearful of the higher power, of whom we were now held responsible to, so we gave it back. Well, after thinking that they were possibly leading us astray, we went off, and decided towalk more down and hopefully get a taxi. As we walked, bus went by. Crap! Our ticket home! I ran after that mutha like a bat outta hell. I chased that sucka down after a block or so, and stalled it for Gayna and Cindy to clip clop run their way over, as fast as one can in high heel boots. People cheered for us when we got on the bus. The driver was choke cool, and let us on for free. We got off not 20 blocks away at Powell as we thought, but at the closer Civic Center. We were pleased. We made it with 5 minutes to spare."Notice"
Notice how short the Castro segment was. We spent 2 hours total, and 75% of the time was transportation and adventure. We paid for the adventure or the race against the clock and whatnot. Needless to say, we did not meet Scott folks."Back in Berkeley"
On the way over, there was a crazy man. He was in a door space lecturing someone. When we walked by, we realized there was no one there but himself. It was scary.
We got back to my place, and there was Fang. We planned to go over to the Hawaii club party. So we got directions and were off. Fang attempted to come with us, but he was promptly shut down. I never actually forbade him to go, but using rhetorical skills, managed to make him not come. Towards the end, I felt guilty, and invited him. I seriously wouldn't have minded and I realize it was pretty dick, but whatever. I hate the guy. Hows this, the night before, we were all eating dinner (Me, Carey, Greg, Reese, Gayna, Cindy, and Terri Carey's dormmate). Fang walks up, and starts talking to us. He is telling me about when Scott folks are coming in. He's talking, and then he flings something at my food. I don't know what it was, but Fang is always toucing his face, and it is quite oily and pimply. I am afraid it was some sort of pimple residue, that he threw in the vicinity of my food. This infuriated me, and I gave Fang what-for.
So we left my place, and headed over. I did not know where to go, but eventually, we got there. That is were we finally hooked up with all the other folks. We left after an hour or so, and after I paraded my Mike Yang styles to everyone. But Zion was wasted. Zion has a car, which we were going to use to shuttle everyone to Gayna and Mona's places. But again, Zion was drunk. So Scott volunteered to take the wheel. I tried to take control instead of him, but Scott insisted that he drive. This created the terrible"Racoon Incident"
We will continue to bring this up forever Scott. Years from now, we will say, "Hey Scott, remember that racoon you killed?" Scott will say, "It was dead! It was dead!" We will say, "No Scott. You killed the poor guy."
There were a lot of people, so Scott made two runs. On the way back from the first run, with Cindy in the car for directions, they hear a "bump bump." According to Cindy, the racoon was right in the middle of the road, impossible to not see. So Scott basically nails the sucker. Scott the vetinarian. He claims he was sad, but he proceeded to get Cindy's coonskin hat and make re-enactments and anti-racoon comments. This is all heresay from Cindy, but Scott wasn't denying. "That racoon probably has a family, and it was going back to see its young, and you just struck it dead on the middle of the road!" said Cindy. Scott, the uncaring bastard, continued with his coonskin hat antics."Doh"
They came, and whisked away the remaining Foothill people. Me, Greg, and Carey went home. However, my costume consisted only of board shorts and wife-beater for clothes. Needless to say, I froze my ass off for three blocks. And when I got home, I realized I had forgotten my keys inside. I attempted to collect call my own phone, to wake up Fang. But Fang was in a drunken slumber, and could not wake up even to my very loud rings and answering machine message. I froze out there for ten minutes, before someone miraculously came and let me in. I was all ready to run 10 minutes up to Foothill or something, so I wouldn't die out in the street. I consider myself lucky. I then took the best shower I have ever taken in my life. But the handle fell off in our ghetto bathroom, and this guy Nehar decided to take it with him. So I as stuck in the bathroom for some time, with another guy. Granted I was still taking my good as hell shower, but I could hear the other guy bashing the door and yelling for someone to rescue us. Someone finally did while I was still taking a shower, but the fact that the doorknob falls off our bathroom door is sad.11/1
"A Nice Breakfast"
I consider today's breakfast the finest I've eaten here. We ate at 12:30 or so, and we brought a ruckuss to the Foothill DC. I was choke tired, but extremely hungry as well. I ate two pancakes covered with whipped cream and strawberries. For taste value, this was excellent. I had a bowl of my favorite coco puffs. James had a bowl of coco puffs, capn crunch, and golden grahams. This is a terrible combo. It takes a Mang to devise something this terrible. I also had bacon, eggs, and potatoes. And for dessert, a bowl of whipped cream and blueberries. It was excellent. I also had ice cream. I was well content with breakfast. It was not too big, but there was some frickin quality in there."Adios"
Then it was time for the Davis folks to leave. After a rousing rendition of "The Zion Song" and "DDC Diver," it was picture time. We all gathered around Zion, who was lying on the ground, and took some circle pictures. I expecially like Jana's camera. It looks like its closed, but when you take a picture...BOOM! This little lens guy pops out, and jumps back in such as a koo-koo clock. Then they crammed 7 people into Zion's car. Zion does not actually drive a souped up Integra. Rather, is is a small Acura. It looked like a clown car, with Lisa lying across the four people in the back. Meanwhile Kevin was having a grand ole time by himself in the front since he is "longer.""Scott"
The following is a little Scott thing. Enjoy.
It is time to get down to business, Please welcome, Bros. Kevin Pien, Xiang Zhou, and James Chan HO!Sister Lisa Gonzales HO!and Brother Scott Aoki SUUUUUUPPPPPPEEEEE!Ladies and Gentlemen, the Posse from Davis! Hoooottaa! Howzit, howzit, howzit! This is Scott coming at ya afteranother good fun weekend at Berkeley. It's always nice to see familarfaces in the crowd. We had a good time together. Many of us did getwastedon the way. A big shout out to all of my friends out there, especially my DDCboys. Isang "DDC Diver" all weekend, and it made me think you all you guys. Iseriously miss everyone out there. To Nolan: Give Bip a break. Sure he is going to UCJC, but let us be reminded that it is argueably the best JC school in the nation. AtleastBip is having a good ol time with Fang huh? Don't let him fool you. Biploves Fang, and Fang loves Bip. They are brothers. Picture the Chineseverson of the Odd Couple in a tight ass room, and you've got the imageofFang and Bip. Reciently I've started a Bench 'Ohana Bulletin, which is filled withstories from the DDC, FFC, NSG, and such. If you want to get it, juste-mail me at [email protected]. Or try reach me on AOL IM with myscreenname: DDCsta. I better let Bip do his long ass letter now, but just wanted to saythanxto all of the Berkeley people: Gayna, Bip, Greg, Reese, Carey, Cynthia,Mikey Yang, Jon Van Horn, Mariel, Mona, and anyone else I missed. Youguyswere great. Much appreciated. Come by anytime. Scott"Clear things up"
Let me again say, "I hate Fang." That is all."Afterwards"
Afterwards, I went home, tried to study, and went to sleep."Soccer"
I awoke at 5:30, and realized we were playing soccer in 30 minutes. Me, Reese, and Greg hauled ass to Kreebergher Field, and got ready to go. The Ward-less Cal Hawaii team went in with only two girls. We had only one girl for awhile, and were ten seconds away from forfeiting before Megan came. So we played down 5 to 7 (since there needs to be equal guys and girls on the field besides goalie) but managed to stave off their attacks. And then this girl came to help us,and it was all good. We proceeded to rock them. Actually, it was quite close, though we won, 4-2. Jon scored 3 times, and Megan got a last minute goal at the end of the first half betweent he goalies legs. Jon scored two with about 1 minute left before the game ended to score us the V."Steve's Korean BBQ"
We went to eat after the game. I was very excited to go to Steve's Korean BBQ for about a week. I found out they have my favorite soup, Kalbi Tang, and was all set to go. We got there, and they ran out. I was pissed. I ended up eating BBQ chicken. It is actually wuite decent, however, the kimchee is made from some sort of crappiest part of the bok choy possible. I think it was just regular cabbage kind. Sad."Myong's"
By the way, I don't know why everyone likes Myong's so much. What the heck? It is not that great. And what's up with this great Myong's meat jun? It sucks! There is no meat in there! If you want good meat jun, you must make it yourself. That is the only way for good meat jun."Abe"
I imagine you're having a grand ole time in USC, about ten minutes away from Koreatown. Good eating? Yes. I think so."And now"
So now I'm back at the crib, just chillin. It's takin me a hella long to write this Bip Report today."Mitch"
I suggest you clip out all articles concerning Hurricane Mitch, such as "Mitch destroys Central America." If there were ever a Hurricane Bip, I would be all over that s---."Tripton"
Tripton, let me just say that your match ups are classic as hell. I was laughing so hard when I read them. It has inspired me. I would like to make my own match ups, yet I do not want to steal your ideas. I believe in creativity and whatnot, so I am against this stealing and copying of ideas and concepts (except stealing ideas from Nolan). I would like to create my own match ups for the Bip Report, but do not want to steal from the Tripton ...Report. So it's up to you to give me the go ahead."Sports"
What the heck is up with Stanford almost beating UCLA? What the heck is up with us almost losing to OSU? UCLA, let me remind you, oh 2nd in the nation not anymore, that Stanford was 1 and 6. I think they were in a frenzied rage over the tree, and took it out on you folks. And OSU? We had a showing similar to UW against them. Is it piss poor? Hell yeah. But we won."A Fight Outside"
There's much yelling going on outside right now. Very beligerent activity, however, one group is inside somewhere. One of these days, I hope to see a fight go on outside. I'd set my chair up, watch, and cheer the combatants on. It would be like Pay Per View, without the Pay. One of these days. Hopefully, it would be a posse fight. That would be fun to see.And that's all folks. Thank you for all who have made it to the end. I realize this is a long as anything report. So again, thank you for your patronage. I believe this puts me over even Ayson's damn long reports in the longest report ever written (yet I cannot compete in length to the Bench Ohana, though maybe I could if I were to have two copies of this in one. Why is it like that Scott?) So until next time, diamonds are forever, and so is Abercrombie & Fitch.
BIP