Welcome to the Bip Report THANKSGIVING EXTRAVAGAAAAAAANZA EDITION!
Well, it's not actually that special, but here goes.
"Thanksgiving Dinner"
As I hope you all know from reading past Reports, I spent Thanksgiving with family in Cupertino (by San Jose). Dinner was pretty good. There was much turkey to be had. I wouldn't say it was anything too special, but it was better than the DC, so be thankful for that, right? No fancy Hawaiian food, like some people were gettting, however, I did get to have Hawaiian Sun Guava juice, which I consider to be a victory in and of itself.
"Movies"
I watched a lot of movies. Most of the time was spent lounging and watching TV. I haven't done this in ages, so this was actually super fun for me.
"Titanic"
I finally saw the much touted Titanic. All I thought throughout the movie was, "This thing won 11 Oscars?" Then I checked the bow to see which Oscars they were. Besides Best Picture and Best Director, which are actually the best, the other nine were for like costume design, SFX, and music. For these, I most definitely agree. This movie was awesome in terms of those things. But I'm not sure it is deserving of Best Picture. I mean, what? A harsh criticism of Victorian lifestyle? What the hell does that teach me? I read the damn "French Lieutenant's Woman," I don't need anymore critisicm of 19th century English. Here, however, are my biggest gripes about this movie.
#1: Leo and Rose f---ing in a car. What were they thinking? Some poor guy owns that car, and has spent good money to get it. And they go in there, and have sex in it? What kind of disrespect is this?! Do you want people f---ing in your car?! NO!!! You don't want your car to be made into some sort of burlesque house, such as George's car in Seinfeld. It is simply unacceptable.
#2: Old lady Rose throwing away the "Couer de la Mer." You idiot! You selfish bastard!!! That poor guy has spent three years, and millions of dollars trying to find that thing, and here you have it all that time. And when she finally learns it's what he's looking for, does she give it to him? Noooooo! She throws it off the side of the ship! What the hell you gotta do that for? For symbolism? Your heart is in the ocean with Leo? Fine, that may be the case, but you don't have to junk a friggin gigantic blue diamond that the guy has been looking for all this time. And now he's going to spend another ten years looking for it in the ship, spending millions of more dollars all because of this stupid old lady. And after all that, she has the nerve to die on the ship! Your grand-daughter will never forgive herself! "I should never have taken grandma to that ship! She must have caught a cold, or the travel must have been too much for her," is what she'll say. To quote Homer, "Hello. Old Lady from Titanic? You are an idiot!"
#3: I'm sure Joey can relate to this one. Leo pretty much leaves his Italian friend to die. He doesn't ever talk to him. They get on the boat together, and they never see each other until the ship is sinking. And then he dies. By a damn smokestack falling on him. How's that, huh?
#4: Is Billy Zane as bad as they make him? I mean come on! He's not that bad a guy! If you think about it, everything he does, you or I would do too. He says, "You're almost a gentleman." to Leo. Well Leo's not a gentleman, is he? Just because someone wants to be called doctor, doesn't mean they get it. Same diff. He hits Rose. Well, he did catch her with another guy, right? More than once, right? Damn it, wouldn't you be pissed? I'm not saying it's right to hit her...but I understand. He frames Leo and then tries to kill Leo. Same thing. Would you just stand and let someone take your fiance away from you? Would you be all, "Aw, he's better for her after all."? Hell no! You'd be pissed off! Framing Leo was a brilliant manuevar! She would be mad at him, he'd have the girl back, and Leo would be serving hard time for getting in your way. Damn homewrecker! Show em what's up! And when he tries to kill Leo, that's only after he's escaped from your well-laid trap, your girl has totally forsaken you for him, and this is added to the stress of the ship you're on is sinking in the middle of the North Atlantic. Well, I might be shooting at him too! He cares about Rose. It's Rose that doesn't care about him. Damn pornographic wench.
"Star Wars"
And then to make up for this move (although the movie itself was pretty good. It's just it by no means should have won Best Picture. The other ten, even Best Director, fine. But Best Picture, no. It wasn't THAT great) I got to see the best of all time. "Return of the Jedi" on the Scr-Fi network. Excellent. All I can say. Han Solo, now there's a real man. A man's man. Beat that Leo any day, hands behind his back.
"Phantom Menace Trailer"
I also finally downloaded the Episode 1 Trailer in a version I can actually see. Let me just say, this movie will be the greatest thing ever. Ever. They even got Samuel L. Jackson in there! Daaaaaamn! How can you miss? How?! You frickin can't is how. I sat there and watched that clip a good 10 times, totally mesmerized. And then another 10 times in a state of awe. I think I'll watch it now, hold on. HOooooo, crap! Every generation has a legend...Every journey has a first step...Every saga has a beginning...DUN! dududu. dududunduduhdunduh dudunduhdudun dududu DUUUUH DUUUUUH dududu DUUUUUH DUH! Dundudu DUUUUUH DUH! Dundu duh DUUUUUUH! Frickin guy with two light sabres coming out of one thing? Frick. Yoda with frickin hair on his head? Frickin crap man! (Yes, I know Yoda has white hair in Empire and Jedi, but you can't really see it. Now it's like, Kablam! In your face Yoda hair). Frickin young Obi-Wan with some guy trying to imitate Alec Guiness's accent?! Frickin awesome as heck!
"Sir Alec Guiness"
No matter what Alec Guiness has done prior to Star Wars, he is always Obi-Wan. You watch "Lawrence of Arabia." That's Obi-wan. "Bridge on the River Kwai." That's Obi-Wan. "Doctor Zhivago", "Great Expectations", "Oliver Twist"? You damn right you got more Obi-Wan coming at you. I assume he was knighted simply because the royal family said, "Hold up, he's a Jedi knight already. We should acknowledge this."
"Gilroy"
I bought many things in Gilroy, the world's biggest outlet store. The best thing I bought was a pair of waterproof Timberland's. They are sweet as hell. There are four resons I bought this shoe. I won't list them, buuuuuut Timbaland, what? Don't you know I am the man...Got a new song with Genuwine, sound really, really, really fine.
"Meetings"
I first met Terri in Gilroy, randomly. I was amazed by this. Like, wow, hi Terri. I was quite astonshied to find someone I knew here. So when I saw the next group. pssssh! I was like daaaaaamn!!
Who was the next group? None other than Reid Mizue, Jen Itano, Jana Park, and Doro James. What kind of Motley crew pulled together is this? Well, needless to say, I was pleased to see them all. Reid has taken on a new hair endevour, which is to say he has hair now. I guess I shouldn't talk though. Oh wait, you haven't seen my hair...
Okay that's about all. Today was more of "Movie Commentary" than "Thanksgiving Extravaganza." Whatever. Until next time, diamonds are forever, and so is Anakin Skywalker.
BIP