Howdy y'all. This is Bip here. Hey, has everyone simeoultaneously
(spelling?) decided to boycott Bip? I feel all left out of something.
I check my E-mail. YOU HAVE NO NEW MESSAGES. That hurts man. It
hurts right here <Bip pounds chest with fist>.
Okay, well no one has asked to leave the list, since no one even
wrote. But thats okay. Many of you may be wondering, "Why is Bip
writing an E-mail at 9:47 on a Friday night? Has he no life?" Hmm,
that could be true. I'm thinking about doing homework later. Again,
many of you will now believe this to be Friday sacrelige. Well if
it's any consellation, I'm at Gayna's place with Carey, and Cindy.
Today is a cruise night. Novel idea by Bip.
Gayna sez- "Howzit going everybody...rock your body..anyways, i have
something to relay to everybody...rock your body...i promise this is
true, promise. here we go, earlier in the evening, while eating curry
stew made in a hotpot and discussing fellow Cal friend Mun, a.k.a.
'Mun is the One,' Bip said, quote-unquote: 'I ain't gay or anything,
but i also find him quite attractive.' Yes, you heard it here. You
should forward this to Mun. Cindy and I, by the way Cindy is my
awesomest suitemate, refer to Bip as our new gay friend. He has taken
the place of my old gay friend in Hawaii, Eiki. Don't let Eiki see
this. It's just a joke, Eiki really isn't gay...but Bip really is.
Okay, that's all i needed to say, Bip is gay...that rhymes. laterz
skaterz, gaynerz. special shout out to Blazerz...by the way, Bip, who
am i writing to? oh yeah, Bip right now is wearing his ugly bowling
aloha shirt...no offense vince, by the way vince thanks for always
letting me play ball with you, or not always, but a couple of
times...back to Bip, he thinks he's all Mr. Aloha here at Cal. peace
out...Bip is getting frustrated right now cause i'm taking forever to
type this and i'm taking over this message even though i have no idea
who i'm writing to and you probably don't know me. i'll hand it over
back to him, the-gilbert-godfried-wannabe. he's going to talk stink
about me now that i wrote all this, but don't believe him, he's just
frustrated and is jealous cause i'm taking forever to write and Mun is
getting more play from the ladies than him...
Good night everybody. It's 12:00. Gayna spent about 2 hours writing
that. First of all, can I say that everything Gayna just said is
false. She is a pathalogical liar. Also, she can't spell. She had
to reread her little blurb about 20 times, as if it were a paper or
something. Very annoying. Okay, here's Carey Lew.
Carey sez- Whassup everybody?! I don't know who the hell I'm writing
to (other than you LALA Evan->do your homework!) I just finished
having dinner at Gayna's sweet suite, and now I'm working with Cindy
on our Comp. Sci. project. I know, I know, it's kinda of sad that
we're working on a Friday night, but our weekend is super hectic, and
we both have mid-terms next week, so don't think to low of me. Bip is
reading every damn thing I say, so I can't really cut him down right
now, even though his new haircut that he and Greg worked on was to say
the least very interesting. Let's just say there's some thin parts,
thick parts, and I don't know what parts. Well, as my roommates (from
San Deigo) say, "Guess I'm out, late."
Okay. Here comes Cindy, the suitemate. Undoubtedly, she will join
Gayna in the Bip bashing. Please disregard the bad things she says as
pure fabrication.
Cindy sez- wow crazy people come from Hawaii. or are Gayna and Bip
just special? When Gayna came to our suite it changed so much. She
gets all these guys. It seems like she's bringing a different guy
over every night. Was she such a hoochie in high school? She takes
us out to all these frat parties and everyone knows her. She can get
us drinks where ever we go. I've never met a girl who could drink so
much. It's not so fun sometimes to take care of her at the end of the
night, but its worth it because we always have an excting time when we
go out together. There must have been some wild parties back at
punahou. and Bip is soo funny. He goes out to meet guys with us too.
It was so different for me to meet someone who was so open with his
homosexuality. Was he like this in high school, or do you think he
has just felt comfortable coming out of the closet here at Berkeley
where everyone is so open-minded. He is so cute. He goes shopping
with us and stuff. I've never had a gay friend before. I have to go
now they are yelling at me for writing too much.
gayna sez-hi, i'm back, i just read cindy's message and let me say
something...not that i care what you guys think about me, but...i'm
not an alcoholic, i just smoke a lot of weed and have even started to
experiment with crack and unsafe sex. okay, that's a joke too. but,
seriously the thing about me being a hoochie is all wrong too. in my
humble opinion there are no hot guys here (although Bip disagrees and
thinks there are plenty of good looking men around), i am not getting
any guys. okay back to Bip...oh yeah, another tidbit about our mutual
gay friend Bip, he likes the Backstreet Boys now. I'm not kidding.
Any of you who has called him over here and who has been lucky enough
to hear his answering machine version of 'Everybody' will know. His
favorite is Nick...i think Bip likes blondes. bye for real...oh yeah
one more thing: please e-mail me if you like, even though i still
don't know who i'm writing to right [email protected]
Okay. This was a failure. I figured they'd write about, oh 5 or 6
lines. But no. Obviously I'm wrong. Let's get it clear again that
EVERYTHING they wrote is basically wrong. So I will not have any of
you writing back to me asking, "Bip, are you really gay?" So
everybody. Frickin chill. They are two stupid idiots. And they
don't know what the fridgin crud they are talking about. Okay.
So I guess screw the news, huh. Well there is none anyway, except I
got a bad haircut by Greg. It's very uneven, but hey, whatever.
Okay. Cindy wants to write again, though just a minute ago, she
wanted to to get off, so she could write a paper. Screw that too,
huh. Well, I'll sign off here. Until next time, diamonds are
forever, and I'M NOT GAY!!!!!!
Here's Cindy. You can press "back" now, and skip her spiel.
Cindy's extra stuff- Bip loves us really. I guess he's just a little
mad that I told you about hhis new lifestyle. I guess he wasn't open
about it in high school, but you guys understand right?