Alright, hello everybody, and welcome to the Bip Report.First, we have a big list of Bip Report Add-ons today.
>From c/o 97, we have:
Steph Chun-How's it going? Partying everyday or what? Nah, F--- that.
Jana Fong-Hey, SCU : ) That's pretty close to Berkeley, yeah?
Shelly Hirakami-Ey, I saw you on this Hawaiian Airline video, on my
way over here. Acting career?
and Kano-So what? How intense is it up there?You might think these are somehow significant messages to these
people. But they aren't. They're random comments. But it's nice to
be able to contact you four!And then, from Stanford...We have Ziz Nguyen, and Jeff DesJarlais.
Ziz and Jeff. And Milo too. Let me again take the time to address my
deep-felt hatred of Stanford. STANFORD SUCKS!!! Actually, the
deep-felt hatred of Stanford at Cal probably comes from the fact that
99% of Cal students applied and were rejected from Stanford.
Therefore, we need to extract some crude form of retribution by
declaring Stanford to be junk, and then hoping to beat you in
athletics. Hey, whatever feeds the ego. Oh yes, I also find it
ironic that your stinky school colors are RED with a hint of BLACK.
While our colors, well, the BUFF and BLUE forever. Take off that red
shirt! Take off that red shirt! What's he says he says GRRRRR-AH!
GRRRRRRR-AH! GRRRRR-GRRRRRR-GRRRRRRRR-AH!
There. I feel I have adequatly bashed Stanford to support my
Stanford-rejected self. *kshick* Ah, that's the stuff! RATTA TATTA
RATTA TATTA!!!
Okay. That was rrrrrandom.News time. I don't have too much to report. These aren't so much
reports, as an excuse to not writing personalized messages to people.
And then expecting personalized stuff back. Well, forget I said that.
WAVE WAVE WAVE. There. Using Jedi mind tricks, I have cleared your
memory of the previous sentences. While I'm at it...
You want to write letters to Bip.
You: I want to write letters to Bip.
Me: You will send me E-mail everyday.
You: I think I'll send Bip E-mail everyday.
Me: You will occasionally write real letters, and make phone calls.
Once in a while, you will fly to Berkeley and visit.
You: I really want to write letters to Bip, as well as call him. I
think I may even visit him.
Carry on.Okay, that's not news. This is. We had another intramural soccer
game today. Let me again reaffirm my belief that WARD PENFOLD IS A
SOCCER GOD!!! His skill is legendary. It attracts people to the
games. Gayna would not have come to play, if she was not guaranteed a
chance to see Ward play. And since she was the third girl, and we
need three to play, Ward indirectly saved us from the start. And then
the game started. He proceeded to brutalize the oppenents with
unheard of skills and quickness. Such amazing footwork and
agility...Josh, Scott, Ken, Happy, Iso, Kano, and Jay...we got nothing
on Ward's agility. We're small kine dopey compared to his athletic
prowess. Remember that time we were watching the girls play, after we
got out of the weight room? We were all impressed with Shaina. Not
that Shaina isn't awesome, but dang it, Ward is just kicking it up
notches unknown to man.
Yet despite this, we somehow cannot win games. We at least tied
today, 2-2, bringing our record to a whopping 0-2-1. Greg stunned the
crowd again with his diving on every ball technique. It's funny how
we all try to incorporate our respective sports into soccer. Greg
plays goalie, so he uses baseball catches and throws to move the ball.
I attempt to take people down in games. If I guys too close, I'm
tempted to ankle-pick the guy. I like to charge people, and move into
the ball's path as they kick it. They think, "Who is this crazy idiot
that keeps running into the soccer ball?" That's wrestling. We are
waiting for Kristine to bust out her gymnastics, and do cartwheels and
saltos to distract the opposition. No such luck yet, but next week is
playoffs, so she has to pull all the stops. And then there's
basketball playing Gayna. She attempts to grab the ball and dribble
it, thus resulting in hand-ball penalty kicks for the other team.
There's track-star Jon van Horn, who is just fast. Mike Yang has not
yet incorporated drinking into soccer strategy, so he still ain't too
hot. And Carey and Ward play soccer, and run plays and s---.
But the best part of our team is this big guy, Solomon. He's a large
Samoan guy. He plays football. On the sidelines, he talks smack the
whole game, and threatens the other team. On the field, he
specializes in knocking people over, which he has done twice. He does
Maori chants and stuff, and attacks people. An oppenent injured Carey
for awhile, and Solomon came in to take Carey's place. Seeing this,
the guy that hurt Carey took himself out of the game lickety-split.
When the other team starts to play dirty, we put in Solomon, and the
dirty play stops.
Okay that's all for me. I will now take the time to acknowledge and
thank the people that have responded to me in large ways. Scott Aoki.
Blaise Trigg-Smith. Jennie Kaya. Brian Taylor. Jenny Shaw. Onaona
(love the report! Better than Nolan's!) That is all. Well, there's
more, but those are in my mind, and the only way to see the other
people that have responded would involve erasing the entire thing I
just wrote, so that won't happen.
Until next time, diamonds are forever, and so is Ward Penfold skillz.
BIP