Welcome to the Bip Report.
"In Response to the Bear"
Okay, this was one of the most responded to Bip Reports, let alone Match-Ups ever. Let me address some of the things that came up.
"Polar vs. Grizzly"
Okay, I am mistaken. A polar bear can defeat a grizzly bear in a regular fight. If in the woods, the grizzly has a chance. But in general, the polar bear is superior. Bigger and more vicious. However, it may be slower. I simply forgot about polar bears when I was writing the match-up. I was thinking that the biggest bear is superior, and I forgot that polar bears are bigger than grizzly bears.
"Tigers"
Scott was first, saying that the tiger is the perfect predator. He says that he is vetinerary science major, and that he once took a test. A question on the test was, "Describe the ideal predator" and if you didn't describe a cat, you lose 8 points.
Well Scott, notice the adjective "predator." It is a predator. I do not deny that cats are the best in terms of hunting, stalking, then slaying their quarry. But this has little bearing on a fight. This is not hunter/prey. It is two animals versus each other. Predator and killer are two different things. The tiger may be a better predator, in that a bear would most likely be unable to hunt down the creatures a tiger can. But in a fight, you better believe the tiger's gonna take some major whuppings from the bear.
PS - Yes, I know "predator" is a noun, not an adjective (right Nolan?).
"Pitbulls and or Wolverines"
Then Josh said pitbulls might be better. Tripton also suggested a wolverine might be better, but then realized he was wrong. Tripton is right. The same goes for both these animals, or any little, yet vicious and quick animals. They can hurt the bear, no doubt. They will do helluva damage to it. But they will never KILL the bear. The bear will kill the other animal first, thus winning. And ain't no way a pit bull or anything can jump the 9 or 10 feet neccessary to reach the crucial jugular vein. If they even tried, they would get swatted, and die.
"Werewolves and vampires"
Nino pointed out to me that a bear would probably not be able to kill a vampire, since it has to be stabbed through the heart with wood. True. But I stick by the bear mauling the vampire, and incapacitating it til sun-up. And here is a little known werewolf fact. You can kill a werewolf by either a) silver bullet or b) ripping it into very small individual pieces. The bear cannot do a, but it sure as hell can and will do b.
"So What can Stop a Bear?"
Well, nothing really can match up with a bear. The only thing I see killing a bear would be something poisonous. Mariel and I discussed this, and the only way you could bring down a mighty bear is with perhaps a sea snake or one of those poison tree frogs. It would have to be something with a helluva lot of poison. I don't think a simple rattlesnake would do. It would have to be a death-on-bite lethal kind of poison, otherwise the bear would kill the thing once it got bitten.
"Most Powerful Animal Now"
In order to solve this riddle, we have to go the ocean. It is clear that the greatest animals are found in the mysterious waters of the seven seas. Here we find such beasts as the Great White Shark, the Killer Whale, Giant Squids, and the Sperm Whale. These are all deadly creatures, and the whales also have the advantage of superior intellect. The most deadly animal would be probably a Sperm Whale that could move about in the air as if in water. But such Air Whales just don't exist. And it's a good thing. Or they would be the only animals alive, cause they would be so frickin dominant. Air Sharks would also be dangerous, but they are not as big as Sperm Whales. The advantage of sea animals is that they are more primal, and prehistoric. And we all know that prehistoric animals are the most dominant of all.
"Bear vs. Dinosaurs - The Invid Theory"
Well pretty much most dinosaurs would kick the bear's ass. Just sheer size and strength. They are designed killing machines. Still, I think a bear would do well against a Raptor, though it would lose. A bear would still be able to compete in that realm though. Here is some of my evidence.
In the Invid series of Robotech, Scott Bernard once came upon a grizzly bear. He had his Cyclone, and everyone else was with him. But still yet, they were scared as anything of this bear. They started to run away from it. In their Cyclones, mind you, that can shoot lasers and missiles. They were only saved when the Invid Scouts came, and blasted the bear. Invid Scouts can fly, that's why. But on another occasion, Scott Bernard fell into an Invid genesis pit, which was filled with Prehistoric animals. Before he could escape, he was attacked by like 30 pteradactyls. He tells Rand to run off, and he goes to fight them in his Cyclone. The following scene was him taking down all of the pteradactyls. By the end of the scene, the ground was covered with pteradactyl bodies. Scott's only reaction was, "Phew, that was tough!" And nothing more. He just killed 30 pteradactyls, and it was no big deal. Compare that to him and three other Cyclones running in fear from one grizzly. By that logic, the grizzly is superior to 30 pteradactyls. So I think it could hold it's own in prehistoric times.
"The Altered Beast Theory"
Okay, how many of you remember that game Altered Beast, where you pick up little ball things, and become different animals? Okay, stage one, you become a werewolf. Stage 2, a dragon. Stage 3, a BEAR. Well then. It's the only non-mythical animal you become in that game. How is that.
"The Visionaries Theory"
Do you remember the old cartoon, Visionaries? It was about these knight guys that turned into animals, and they had staffs that did things if they said a specific chant. Anyway, one of the good guys became a bear. He was the strongest of the good guys, and whenever he became a bear, he would kick the bad guys asses, despite the fact that many of the bad guys turned into various dragons and monsters.
Pretty much the bear is the most unstoppable animal on land. We should be proud to have bears. Next time you see a bear, look at it for a while, and contemplate the mysterious workings of nature to have produced such a superior animal. It is the top of the food chain, the cream of the crop. Yes, bears are a boon to the world.
With this, I leave Stanford people with my closing sentiments.
Until next time, diamonds are forever, and GO BEARS!
BIP