Welcome to the Bip Report.
"No RAW - yet again"
Okay, I was once again deprived of my RAW. This is due to the fact that Danny's girlfriend is over, and 1) she wanted to watch Ally McBeal and 2) She wanted to play Playstation afterwards. I was somewhat disappointed, but what can you do. I do not like this RAW pre-emption for Ally McBeal one bit, but that is the way of the world.
"Macross Instead"
I did watch some Macross II and first episode of Macross Plus. That was around 5 today. So at least I get to watch something good today, if not RAW. Macross II is good for the fact that there are like 10 Super Dimensional Fortresses and Metal Siren that kicks ass. Macross Plus is crappy because it moves slow as hell, and I think they want to build plot too much - thus causing much confusion.
"Match-Ups"
Okay, I have many ideas for match-ups now. But the main thing I note about these are that after much contemplation, I have decided that the grizzly bear is the most dominant land animal on Earth. Any disputes?
"Bear vs. Werewolf"
Let me tell you something about werewolfs. They are crap. Werewolves are pretty much worthless in the animal hierarchy. The only reason werewolves are even scary is cause they are better than humans. But compared to other animals, humans are pretty weak. After watching "Bad Moon," and seeing a dog kick a werewolf's ass, I have lost all respect for these creatures. If you put a bear vs. a werewolf, rest assured the bear will frickin maul the werewolf. The bear is pretty much a better werewolf. It is bigger, stronger, faster, and more animal-instinct. It has bigger claws and teeth. It would rip a werewolf to shreds. If you ever become a werewolf, do not attempt to take on a bear, cause they will f--- you up big time.
"Bear vs. Tiger"
We decided that maybe a tiger could do some damage to a bear, and possibly kill the bear. This is due to the tiger's cunning and quickness. It could pounce on the bear from the back, and then kill it. But I don't think this would happen. If a tiger pounced on a bear's back, the bear would get all injured and bit, but shortly it would throw the tiger off. Then it would be over for the tiger. Face to face, the bear will kick anything's ass. If the tiger pounces, the bear will just bash it down with its mighty paws. You don't think it can? You think it is not fast enough? Crap, bear's catch frickin salmon as they migrate upstream. They snatch those things out of the water. If that is not quickness, then I don't know what is. Bear would win.
"Bear vs. Big Animal (Elephant, Rhino, Hippo, etc.)"
Yet again, the bear is triumphant. Sure if it gets in the way of an oncoming rhino, the bear will get killed. But I don't think the bear would get caught with such a simple trap. It would lumber out of the way, and strap on a mighty bear hug, and break its back or something. An elephant, it would have hard time, just due to size. But it would slowly slash and bleed it to death. It would just have to avoid its tusks and girth, which I think a bear can do. Same with hippo, or anything else.
In conclusion, the bear is the mightiest animal on the land. If you believe you have an animal that is mightier, please E-mail me, and give me your reasoning. Dinosaurs do not count, cause they are extinct.
Here are some mythical monsters and movie creatures I think a bear could take on: Sasquatch, Predator w/o gun, ET, X amount of aliens, Werewolf, Vampire, Frankenstein's Monster, La Cuppachubra, Jason, Freddie Kruegar, Chucky, I Know What you did Last Summer guy, Chewbacca, 10 Ewoks. The things that could beat it would be Yetti, and Loch Ness Monster.
"Unicron Transformer Destroyer of Worlds vs. Death Star"
Well let's say Unicron needed to feast. He spies the Death Star, and says, "Ah this would taste even better than Cybertron!" So he goes to eat it. However, onboard, Darth Vader feels his presence. He contacts the Emperor. "What is thy bidding my lord?"
"There is a great disturbance in the Force. You must destroy Unicron."
"Yes, my Lord. But I believe we can still turn young Unicron to the Dark Side."
"Lord Vader, I hope your feelings on this matter are not clouding your judgement."
"I find your lack of faith most disturbing."
"And your faith in your friends is yours!!!!"
"...uh..."
"Now witness the power of this fully armed and operational battlestation!!!"
With that, the Death Star fires it's first shot at Unicron, smashing a hole through his left hemisphere. "That blast came from the Death Star! That things operational!" cries Unicron knowing that there is no time to be spared. He transforms into robot form. TIE fighters are launched to try to stop him, but Unicron's defense systems take them out. Star Destroyers are deployed, but they only become appetizers for Unicron's feeding. "Now for the Death Star!"
Meanwhile, inside the Death Star, a solemn Emperor sees that his main laser is not having the desired affect on Unicron. Perhaps Vader's idea to turn Unicron to the Dark Side is the best solution after all! A transmission is sent out through space. Disregarding the fact that sound cannot be heard in space, Unicron hears the Emperor's voice. "Yes! Eat us! Destroy us all! Then your journey to the Dark Side will be complete! Ahahah! Let your anger grow! Release your hatred, and destroy us!"
Unicron stands rather confused. "Okay." And proceeds to rip apart the Death Star! "Hmm. That didn't work out like it should," says the Emperor. The Death Star is being ripped apart, and it looks like Unicron has this in the bag. When lo and behold, Vader goes out in his modified TIE with the Emperor in the back! "The Force is strong in this one." He launches salvos of proton torpedos, with no effect. But he manages to land his TIE on Unicron's body. He gets out and reaches within. But, what's this? No air! "Gasp! Emperor...help me remove this... matrix...For once, let me see you through my OWN eyes..." With that, they reach into Vader's body, and remove the Dark Side Matrix! You got the touch... You got the power... "NOOOOO!!!" yells Unicron. The Matrix is opened, and it sends forth the full power of the Dark Side of the Force. KABOOM! Unicron is ripped apart. The Death Star wins!
"Stone Cold vs. Dilo Brown- 1 800 COLLECT ReMatch!"
Now if y'all want Stone Cold to kick Dilo's ass, gimme a hell yeah. HELL YEAH!!! Ya damn right! Now Dilo, I suggest you get your ass out here, so I can stomp a mudhole through ya, and walk you dry!
YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE! Stone Cold, Dilo doesn't back down to anyone! YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE! *head shake head shake head shake*
Dilo enters the ring, decked out in his protective chest pad. But Austin quickly takes control with his jump on the guy, and punch his face in move! Austin gets in his face, "How do ya like that, you piece of trash?" He picks up Dilo, and slams him to the turnbuckles. "Next time, dial 1 800 COLLECT, and save me some cash!" Dilo falls over, and Austin applies the dreaded airplane spin. Round and round and round he goes, where he stops? No one knows. But before Austin can release, Dilo gets his leg free, and escapes! As Austin comes to get him, Dilo knocks him over! "10-10-321 is a much better way to call! Why call collect anyway? 10-10-321 is just $1 for the first 20 minutes and only 10 cents a minute after!" Austin gets up. "Here's what I think about 10-10-321." and gives Dilo two big fingers. Dilo is enraged! He runs up to Austin, but Austin delivers a kick to the stomach! It's Stunner time! But wait! Austin turns around to apply the Stunner, but Dilo is not there! His chest protector has absorbed Austin's kick! He is unaffected! YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE! And he smashes Austin down! He gets to the top turnbuckle, and a leap frog! Yes! He connects! 1, 2...3!!!! WHAT AN UPSET! DILO HAS DEFEATED AUSTIN! "That's right, and if you're still dialing 1 800 COLLECT, it's time that you better recognize! 10-10-321, it's quick, easy, and it'll save you some cash!
So until next time, diamonds are forever, and so is 10-10-321.
BIP