Welcome to the Bip Report.
"Sexiled"
Okay, here is my question to you all. How many of you folks have been sexiled yet, such as when your roommate does the nasty within your room? Let me see a show of hands. Mmmm. Good. Okay then. Personally, I find the whole idea quite disgusting. I mean, crap, that's your room. I have become somewhat obsessed with the entire concept, despite the fact that I find it most disturbing.
Anyway, this topic is on my mind many times during the week. But this weekend, this event came dangerously close to happening. With Scott as my witness, I swear to this.
So here's the deal. My roommate, I believe, has the hots for this girl, which I will call X. The thing is, Ms.X seems to have a boyfriend. My roommate is not letting this stop him. I believe Steph told me once, "Boyfriend? Ah, that's just a word," and it seems my roommate has taken this to heart. My roommates often have push-up battles, which consist of possibly the weakest push-up displays ever seen to man. I am talking 100 in an hour. Wrestlers, I believe I speak for us all when I call this display piss poor. Nonetheless, X often over to watch this display. The roommate that likes her refuses to lose when she is there. Somehow, this poor showing of push-ups seems to impress her. I cannot explain it. What would this girl do if I decided to do those same 100 push-ups within the course of, say 5 minutes, as is done during "Kam Sucks Dick" or Bucket punishments? At any reate, she is impressed, much to my roommates delight.
X comes over all the time, until the wee hours of the morning, and often times sleeps over. However, this night, Scott was sleeping over. Now my roommates know that Scott is sleeping over. But they are out with X and they say they will not be back until after 4. Me and Scott are done watching the Royal Rumble by 3, and sleep before 4, before they get back. I expect many things in life, but what I woke up to is probably something I never expected. It is maybe 9 AM, and I am woken to the sounds of very soft talking. One of them is my roommate Ed. The other is X. I'm thinking, "Hmm, she's slept over" and I look down to see Scott in his sleeping bag. "That must be her" I think ever so briefly, then I realize, "No, that's Scott. Crap, where is X?" I am still tucked away nicely in my covers, but I every so slightly raise my head to the direction of the conversation. It is coming from Ed's bed. He is in bed. With X right beside her. Now, I'll have you know that the beds we have are the smallest possible beds manufactured. There is no room at all for two people, so they are pretty cuddly in there. I see this, and I am shocked. I hardly know what to do. I go back to sleep, but I find it difficult. It is possible that there could be some action that went on last night whilst me and Scott were asleep. Nasty menage a trois stuff. I am not wanting to think about this, and I severly doubt it, but still, I am shocked. I have no choice but to make choke noise, as I "wake" up. I wake Scott, and he realizes what is going on. We go to the bathroom to get all tidied up, and he says, "Bip. There is a girl in your roommates bed." Yeeees. Scott doesn't seem to care much about this, but I am pretty disturbed.
Now I realize that it is almost impossible for anything to have occured. But still, this is unprecedented manuevars by Ed as 1) X has a boyfriend, 2) they are sleeping together in his bed. 3) I am in the room.
To make this worse, guess what sight I woke up to THIS morning? THE SAME DAMN THING! Crap! This had better not become a trend or something. It's a only a matter of time before they are in that bed wearing none but their birthday suits.
Anyway, I acknowledge this as Ed's devious manuevars because he knows Scott is sleeping over, right? I assume that he tells X, oh, you can't go home now, it's late! You should sleep over! They get in, oh, Dan's friend is sleeping over! There is no place for you to sleep except my bed. But where will I sleep? Hmm, maybe we will both sleep on this bed.
I am disturbed by this. But still yet, my roommates are choke cool. I prefer this 1000 times over Fang, right, so it's all good.
"X-filed"
Today was a good day of TV. A new Simpsons episode. "And that's the end of that chapter." As well as THE MOST EEEEELECTRIGYING PERFORMER IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TODAY, The ROCK, appearing on "That 70's Show." Nolan, I taped that episode after RAW on your tape. It is a gift of sorts. However, it was not that great, as the Rock is not the Rock in the show, but rather the Rock's father. Finally, the Truth is out there, and it is revealed! For 3 years I've been wondering what the hell Mulder and Scully were doing and/or talking about. I finally learn in the first 5 minutes or so of today's episode, along with the answers to every other question. My only question is, "Where is freak Brain-child boy?"
"Response to Josh's Denny's Story"
Okay Josh. This is how my Dad explained Denny's to me. He says that Denny's on the mainland is choke racist against non-whites. This is based on his experiences in Ripon Wisonsin college, as well as his many travels across the globe. Every Denny's he's been to in the mainland has treated him choke dick based on his Japanese-ness. I assume since you are far from white, they choose to be dick to you as well. As for why they are not dick to the 3 popolo ladies, I do not know. Maybe they were getting around to it, but they see a greater minority in you, and decide to get you first. That is my take, and you can take it as you may.
Okay, that is all for now. Tomorrow, I plan to make match-ups again. Personally, I would like to hear suggestions from the DDC, particularly Tripton and Ken, who I know excell in this field. Also, the award for "Friend and Enemy of the Week."
Until next time, diamonds are forever, and so is sexilation.
BIP