3-21
Welcome to the Bip Report.
I try to deliver a nice blend of guest writers and whatnot. And I try to utilize the Berkeley Nexus as much as possible. So we have Brian Taylor today. We also have Alan Okada, but he is asleep. But first, the events of the day.
"Wake up Late"
We woke at like 1 PM. Jay left sometime around 10:20, but I was half asleep, and didn't really give him the good bye he deserved. Just kinda, "Huh? Oh. Bye Jay. See ya around." And went back to sleep. Anyway, when we did wake up, I was rather unhostly like, and didn't offer such good breakfast, except poptarts. But at 3:30, we were off to view the campus, Telegraph Ave, and eat.
The first stop was dollar Chinese food. We ate, and no Greg, Reese, and Carey, dollar Chinese does not destroy you like you claim. Then we toured around the various freak shops like Annapurna, and T-Shirt orgy.
"Macross Plus"
We watched a little of Macross Plus. Alan didn't seem to like it, and me and Brian felt it was moving kinda slow. So we pre-empted Macross Plus for some Cache Creek!!!
"Davis Pit Stop"
We stopped over at Davis before heading off to Cache Creek. At aAvis, we saw the regulars, Scott, Christina, and Kevin Pien. But there was no James Mang, due to studying for finals. This was probably not the best time to visit them, since they had finals on the next day. But what, how hard can milking cows 101 be? Nah, but they did have finals. So instead of doing anything, we went to their DC and we ate there. Christina also had her friend Raina over from Oregon St. The best part of dinner was the Crunch Berries cereal. I love Crunch Berries. Mmmm. With that good ole Davis milk. Excellent.
"Back Up - The Road to Davis"
Let me back up, and say how we got to Davis. We were high-tech like hell for this voyage. Alan had his laptop hooked up with Streets 98 program, and we were all tracking our progress and stuff. We had our map pinpointed form my place to Christina's place, and it gave us the route and stuff. It was awesome. As we went up the I-80, Alan tracked us down. It was like in the movies, were they have like a truck, and the terrorists are going to highjack it, using satellite visuals and stuff. It was pretty neat. Amazingly, with my poor sense of direction, we got there. Although, I did tell Brian to drive down the wrong street. Twice. Despite the "Not a Through Street" signs. But we got there, and much thanks to Scott for the swipes. Come down to Berkely again, so I can repay already.
"Bip vs. Cache Creek Round 2"
So the Davis people all had finals. This left me, Brian, and Alan to attack Cache Creek by ourselves. We enter Woodland/Wailae Avenue, and headed past Quick Stop. To our dismay, Quick Stop no longer offers 92 cent gas, but rather 1.13 gas. Very disappointing. We entered Reservation Territory, and we followed the microscopic Cache Creek signs. We then proceeded to miss that same turn that we missed last time. We drove over the wood bridge, and I was thinking, "Okay. Scott and James did this the first time. They did it the second time with us. And we carry on the tradition for the third time." That stupid turn is impossible to get. I vow never to miss that turn again. Then we headed up the wierd road that looks like Kalanianaole in Waimanalo past Josh's and going off to Kaneohe. After much confusion, we made it to Cache Creek.
We came in the back way, and got carded by this lady. We had a little trouble with Brian not knowing where on his Washington driver's license his birthday is. But we eventually figured it out.
Then it was gamblin' time.
Alan lost $9. Brian lost $20. But Bip. Bip came out the winner. Ohhh yeahhh. Up 3 big ones, baby. I was up like 15 or 16 at one point, but in the ways of Cache Creek blackjack, I was swindled down to a mere 4. Then I played video poker to lose another dollar. Net loss for me including bank withdrawal, gas, and toll. So I end up down 3.50. But all that trip is worth 3.50, so really, I am the winner.
Okay, and I had a little experience with the bad dealers that Scott refered to. First one was when I was at my max being up. I bet $4, and I had a 14. I decided to hit. The guy at the end of the table looked at me all pissed off. I got a 10 and busted. Then the dealer showed his cards, and it ends up he would have busted with that 10. But instead, he beat everyone. The dealer was like, "You shouldn't hit." And the guy at the far end was all pissed. He mumbeled something about me leaving, so I did. I was laughing though. Which probably made him even more mad. I think I suffered enough, cause I lost $4, but they didn't share my views.
The second one was pretty funny. There was me and this other guy, and the dealer. I got dealt a 12. The dealer showed a 5, so I am not supposed to hit. But I hit anyway. The guy next to me is all, "You shouldn't hit." And the dealer says, "Hey man! You got 12! I only got 5 showing! You no hit." I say, "No. I want to hit." The dealer is like, "Man. YOu got 12. No hit!" I was like, "No. I want to hit. Hit me." And I signal to hit. The dealer is like, "No. You have 12! I have 5 showing. No hit! Why you want to hit for?" I grin and look at him, and in the most Number 2 voice I can, I say, "I like to live dangerously." He gets all pissed, and slides me the card. It is a 10, and I bust. But I say it was worth it to use that line on that bastard. The guy at the table lost because of me too. Him and the dealer were both pissed at me, but I was just laughing, since I got to use the line. Hey, cards aren't my bag, baby.
"And now, Brian"
Allright, I'd just like to set something straight. Bip is an extremist bastard. Everything he has said is true, but it's kind of screwed with to make it sound better. For instance, my birthday on my license, the security guard was the one having a problem finding it, not me. She was allready all blown away by Bip's and Alan's outlandish Hawaii licenses, with their big ass letters and all, so when she got to my Washington one, with it's small letters, her little security guard brain was having trouble processing the information. Anyway, we got into the casino, and Bip is right, not an Indian (sorry, native american) in sight. It wasn't like anybody couldn't speak english though, they were all pretty proficient, but the entire theme of the place is totally asian, they have waitresses walking around in those chinese dresses with dragons and everythings sewn on. And the restaurant has bamboo gates with wise old chinese men over the door, not a peace pipe in sight. But a casino is a casino, all the gambling stuff looked like it does in the movies. Alan was smart and only changed 10 dollars, but I was feeling lucky so I changed 20 along with Bip. We watched Bip play for a while at the blackjack table after his little tour of the place. I swear to god he was working for the place just to suck me and alan in. After five hands he was allready up by 50%. So alan and I start playing, and in five minutes I've lost half my money and alan has lost all of his. (which actually works out to both of us losing 10 dollars, but I like the other way of saying it better.) Anyway, we wonder around watching the various games, and bip says his classic "I like to live dangerously" line. I have to admit, the dealer was pretty pissed at that, but the other guy at the table had allready lost so much that I don't think he really cared what bip was doing. And the people there aren't as bad as Bip says. Everybody who plays there on the $2 tables is pretty clueless. Anyway, I decide to play again at a different table and lose the rest of my money in about 2 minutes. Gambling is some crazy $hit, I lost fast and I want to play again allready. The Davis people were real cool and hospitable. I'm suprised they all came out to eat even though they all have finals tomorrow. Thanks Davis people. And don't worry that cow smell wasn't that bad, Bip is just a sensitive candy ass. Well, we are driving down to LA tomorrow. I should say I'm driving down to LA tomorrow because neither of these jabronies know how to drive stick. But anyway, I'll see all you LA people tomorrow, thanks in advance Abe for letting us stay at your place.
Okay, until next time, diamonds are forever and so is "living dangerously."
BIP