Huh, well here's the next Bip Report. Are you ready? Lots of new folks added today, so a big Berkeley "H'lo" (cite Mike) to you all."The Verga Report"
Speaking of adding new people to the report...Sara... um, I've been getting some E-mails from people wondering why they have been added to the "Sara Report." And then I looked at the your list. I was shocked! How do you know Ryan Isokane's roommate, or Ryan for that matter? Or Carley Sasaki? Or quite a lot of people that have showed up on the "Sara Report" after you started getting the Bip Report? And the Nolan Report. I swear, the next thing I know, I'll see D on that list. Mysteries abound, missy! You've got some explaining to do!
Seriously though, I don't mind that you take names off the Bip Report. Why I stole Mitchell off of your list. But, speaking for those random people added on the Sara Report, at least tell them who you are or ask if they'd like to be added. I'm not mad. Just thouroughly perplexed.
For those random folks, Sara graduated with us Punahou '98. She is quite the X-country star for the ladies.
And don't get your tongue pierced! You'll only encourage Gayna."Alan & Michelle Saito"
Enjoy this Report! Cause you're whup-bank-chink-pank outta here!"Mafia STyle Liquifications"
This is small kine mafia style eliminations. I'm taking care of the family business this issue, I guess."Yankees"
Talking about the Mafia makes me think of Joey Rispoli. And thinking about Joey now only makes me think of the Yankees. Paulllllieeee. Down for whatever, cause it's all about the Jeter. I know you're living it up Joey. 100% chances? What was the score? 9-1? Hmmm, maybe some of you won't get that joke, cause you didn't do Carey's survey!!! Faux pas. Faux pas."UW"
Okay you damn giant dogs. You may have won the battle, but you haven't won the war. I heard about how close we came to winning, and how we fumbled at the one yard line at fourth and one. Crappola. We'll be back, and the Pac-10 is ours. All we need to do is beat UCLA, cause we know we already beat Stanford. And then, do I smell roses?
I like how I convoluted our losing into sounding like we're even better. Yeah."Shout out to Jana and Christina"
Here ya go, gals. Shout out to both of you! See, more than just "We went to SF, and Jana and Christina were there." Even though that's all I put yesterday. Toady you get your shout out. By the way, what is Christina's E-mail? She requested the Report, but yet, I have no address. In that way, I'm shouting out to no one, but hey. Whatever."And on the SF wavelength"
As you know, Scott Aoki came into Berkeley yesterday along with Mang boy James. Well here’s a little treat. All the way from UC Davis, it’s Scott Aoki.Scott sez:
Hey all you people out there. This is Scott writing from Bip’s small @$$ room. Me and my mang friend from Davis, James Chan, came here for the weekend to visit Bip and his life at Berkeley. In fact, the legendary Fang Delong has just entered the room. The suspense has just been killing me. He left for Stanford apparently just on whim. Bip was worried sick about him. I small kine think that there is a non-sexual crush going on between the two. One defines the other. They’re the new version of the “Odd Couple.”
So, some of you are asking, “Scott, who in the world is Scott?” Well, I am Bip’s friend from school. For those of you how don’t know, me and Bip put on some mean Bake Offs back home. I challenged him up here, but he has not met the challenge. Right now Fang is talking up a storm. I wish he’d shut up already.
Yesterday we went to visit some Mikey “the mang” Yang, Scott “Abercrombie and Finch” Hirokane Jon ”I stay dark now matter how much sun I get” Van Horn. They’re just good fun. For those of you who don’t know, Bip parties up a storm. He’s rapping all over the place that night. We stayed up to four talking about all of this old school talk. Made me d-mn well tear up and what not. Sigh.
Anyways, I’m going to UC Davis. How is UC Davis you ask? Well, I’m here for the weekend aren’t I. It’s pretty boring over there. We don’t do much except go to Frat parties. There are two types of parties: Asian FOB parties and Haole parties. The Haole parties are pretty friendly. The Asian FOB parties are filled with “ghetto” asians, who think they’re hot sh-t and go around trying to stare people down. The Hawaii people (consisting of 5, FIVE people!) went to the party. We couldn’t even move it was so crowded. Then a fight occurred between two warring frats. That’s when about 8 cop cars came and such.
But other then that life is pretty quiet. My classes are pretty lax. I’m in Animal Science right now, which is choke fun since we have lab and deal with animals. Last week we got to flip sheep. Sheep are a lot like Noah Unabia, so picture trying to make Unabs sit on his @$$. You grab them, and they’re warm and soft, and once you trip and make them sit down, they can’t get up. They also smell a lot, so that makes reminds me of wrestling Unabia back home.
A big shout out to all of my friends out there. And Reid- shut up. You can’t write a report everyday, so I don’t think you should be complaining. No one appreciates hate mail, especially since you are piss poor. “Hella ghetto” as they say here, but no one’s gonna start talking like that right? Watch out for the Mainland virus. It spreads like a Mo Fo. That’s it for me. DDC represent.
Scott"Objection"
Despite the Seinfeldian reference, I still cannot approve of "non-sexual crush." Please Scott. I have the journalistic integrity to leave that in, but please. You're a guest of the Report. Such actions cannot be condoned, especially considering the Gayna/Cynthia fallout from their little ideas."The Cowboy Fund"
I've recieved two pledges! I am happy about this, and then I realize there are 115 of you. and then I'm not so impressed. What's up, huh? Just the spare change, a few dimes and nickels. Sent to:2490 Channing Way Rm. 408
Berkeley, CA 94704I promise you again this is no joke. I seriously want to help this guy. Helping the less fortunate in the name of charity and goodwill. I am not trying to make a joke out of this guy. I seriously want to help him. He's entertained me and captivated me, and I'd like to pay him back.
"The Notorious Fang"
Fang disappeared last night. I got home, and he's not there! He wasn't there in the morning, and he only came home at noon today. The whole floor was in an uproar. Where's Fang? We thought he was with his other "friends," but we figure after a car ride to LA, a weekend stay, and a ride back, they'd never want to see him again.
I'd say a good portion of our lives revolve around Fang, and doing various things to him. Without Fang, what would we do for entertainment? Fang's entertainment value is endless for the other hall guys. If I didn't live with the fool, I'd probably like it too. But I do live with him. And it sucks. But he's gone again now. Since about the time he came back. Maybe he'll be gone again. Who knows. I don't really care, so long as he doesn't die.Well this is all I gotta say. Until next time, diamonds are forever, and hella tite, ghetto town.
BIP