It's another issue of the Bip Report. I'm worried about you people and the Report in general. I'm sure a lot of readers don't read the report. So just tell me. Many people have told me the quality of the Report has been going down. Well, maybe it's only Gayna, but heck, whatever. If you don't want it, just say so.
"UW"
Directed mostly at Kiley. Well I hear you guys just barely eeked out a victory this week against Arizona St. Stopped a last minute two-point conversion did you? Well we'll see how you folks do when you play USC. And we'll also see how well you do against UCLA. All I know is, we should have won that game. If we didn't get a terrible call on the 1 yard line at the end of the first half, we would have scored. It would be 16-14 us, at the end of the first. And then who knows what would have happened. How can the refs say it's UCLA ball when a Cal guy is clearly all over the ball? I don't get it. My dad said he watched the game and saw the replay. "Questionable call," said the announcer. Well as Greg says, "Just wait till UCLA puts up a 50 spot against you guys." But then there's the fact that we lost to you. Well I...I mean it's...For example I ...Awwww nuts. We'll beat Stanford.
"A busy day for athletics"
Well what with daylight savings and all, we got an extra hour to sleep in. SO we were able to go to the weight room today (us being me, Greg, and Reese). But tonight was even more jam-packed. We had the return of IM soccer and basketball.
"Soccer"
I thought the game was lost at about 5:50. That's when I called Ward, and he said he wouldn't be able to play. But we still decided to go out, and represent. And it's a good thing! We rocked our opponents out of their pants! 6-0 was it? Haha! Cal Hawaii club is in full effect this season! Greg manned the goal for the first half, and nothing got by the man. Of course Carey and Jon van Horn were rippin it up. Two goals apiece. They had a field day. Jon was rocking everything. He could have scored like 5 goals, but he kept on hitting the goal post. In fact, it took us a while to score. Jon just kept on hitting that goal post. That goal post got worked. And then finally, Jon scored, and the floodgates opened. It got to a point where yours truly was able to get in the goal. That's right, I was the goalie. Greg was able to get on the field, and he didn't fool around. As soon as he got out, he knocked someone over. And then he went ahead and scored a goal. For the last part of the second half, I was intent on scoring as well. What happened instead was just sad. Marlena (another Hawaii person) fed me the ball prefectly in front of the goal, TWICE. And I shanked both of them. I didn't even touch the ball. It was sad. But we won! 1 and 0!
"Basketball"
And then we went down to play some B-Ball. Damn it, that was horrible. We got slaughtered 50 something to 30. Onaona, get down here! We need you! But the highlight was Gayna played Basketball. But it didn't matter. Gayna was overshadowed by...
"Intense Guy"
My gosh. This fellow sucked the fun clear out of this game. He was so intense! And it was only IM basketball! He was all telling us, "Look, we need to stop using the press! It's not working, and it's not creating any steals! So we gotta stop!" And some guy said, "No, it's working pretty good!" Intense guy went off. "NO! WE DON"T GET ANY STEALS! WE JUST TIRE OURSELVES OUT!" He scared me. He talked smack to the refs, and swore profusely during the game. At one point, he got the ball and shot. He missed. He got the rebound. And he shot again. He missed. He got the rebound. And he finally hit the shot. "BITCH!" He yelled out. That's the way! You tell that motherf-ckin ball what's what! Well we lost. I don't think I'm going back to play as long as intense guy is there.
"Fang"
okay, James has reached a new high. I don't know how he does it. He's capitalizing on Fang's current horny state. He's introduced Fang to the world of internet porn. And dang gone, that guy is going crazy. Here's where girls might want to not read. They came in here, and they are seriously egging the guy on. Go to this site! Go to that site! I think Fang is thinking of getting a membership to www.persiankitty.com. Or maybe even www.orgasm.com. He's pretty much going nuts now. James is coming in every now and then, and making sure Fang is looking at porn. The pinnacle of Fang's arousal was when he looked under, well I won't say for the girls. Um...use your imagination. My gosh, he was going balistic! He was screaming, and his voice was all cracking when he was looking at it. He was all "Holy s---! Holy s---! Oh my gosh! OOOOOO!!!!!" He was damn excited. The matress is no doubt seeing some heavy action tonight. It is seriously funny to see how excited he gets over this. I don't care so much about this stuff. I rather see a nice picture of some Alicia Silverstone or some Jennifer Love-Hewitt. But damn it, Fang loves this stuff! If you could hear him now... And see him! And all the while that Fang was looking at the stuff, James was bouncing this yellow ball on the wall. And he kept on throwing it low every now and then, so it ricocheted and hit Fang. And then he started pinching Fang in the back. "Oh my gosh! Look at that picture Fang!" poke poke. "Fang! You gotta click on that s---!" poke poke. Damn, James really knows how to work Fang. It's hilarious!
Well, that's all for tonight. Sorry about the sorta X-rated ending there. Most Bip Reports won't be that way. But we all knew it was only a matter of time before Fang got into porn as well. But I'm done with the report for today.
Until next time, diamonds are forever, and so is cancelling if you don't like the Bip Report.
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