10-5


Hello, and welcome to your friendly, neighborhood Bip Report.  Let's
welcome all the new people.  Some Cal have requested to get this, so
here you are.  I don't see why you want this, though.  Would you like
me to describe dinner?  maybe I caught something you didn't.  Anyway,
also welcome to Kiley.  This is the Bip Report, daily report of Bip's
life.  Feel free to cancel your subscription at any time.
Gayna and Cynthia, I am simply too lazy to remove you from the Cal
folder, so you might be getting this everyday from now on.  If this is
problematic, tell me.
Now I have an announcement.  Along with the Alliance, I have
affiliated the Bip Report to a new E-mail group.  It is the Bryan
Taylor/Bip anti-chain letter group.  Our goal is to discover the
initiator of all the chain letters.  We are going to find you, whoever
you are, and rip you to shreds!!!!
Okay, I will start today by asking all of you a question.  Or rather,
I'm gonna try to get some info out of you.  The topic is David Mun.
If any of you have any information concerning Mun and any one of his
women, please give me the info.  I also ask my Punahou subscribers to
get on the Mun women trail in Punahou.  No doubt he has left a trail
of broken women in his wake, and I would like the info on these women
such as his ex-girlfriend, and their alleged agreement to see other
people.  Because Mun is a playa.
Next on the list.  More roommate stories.  For the new people, my
roommate is Fang.  He is second generation Chinese FOB from Utah.  I
believe that Fang has become an alchoholic.  Upon getting utterly
destroyed this past Friday (by one bottle of Boones), Fang now refuses
to believe that any of this has happened.  He denies ever throwing up,
or doing anything.  On Sunday, the people on the floor spent a good 30
minutes convincing him that this indeed did happen.  Actually, I think
I've told this story before.  Well anyway...Fang refused to believe
what he did.  "I couldn't have been that bad!  I can remeber what I
did, like we went to Top Dog and I got a hot dog."  Fang...we went to
Top Dog at 12.  You STARTED drinking at 1.
Well this is a bit of Fang's denial factor.  But now, I believe Fang
is clearly on the road to full-blown alchoholism.  He comes in the
room, and starts drinking.  By himself.  On a Monday afternoon.
Something is wrong with that.  AND Fang has told me his parents "Don't
care if I drink or not, just as long as it doesn't turn into a
problem."  I told him, "Too bad it IS a problem."  He says, "No it's
not."  Cindy, don't get mixed up with Fang, or you will be on the
recieving end of an abusive relationship.  Actually, considering
Fang's complete lack of independant thought, if you went out with Fang
for a week, you could probably walk away with arm-loads of jewelry,
clothes, and other fine merchandise.  This might make the prospect of
Fang all the more tantalizing.  I would find this amusing.  Cindy, I
encourage you to ask Fang out, and strip him of all his monetary
possesions.  The comedy a bankrupt Fang would produce is unimaginable.
 No more midnight runs to Fat Slice pizza (which he only goes to
because everyone else on the floor goes.  Well not me.  I don't need
pizza at 1 AM every night).  I think it would be funny to see what the
Dorm people would do to make Fang beg for beer.  The prospects are
endless...Cynthia, go out with Fang!!!!
Finally, the Bip Report will not be put out on Oct.12 or 13.  I have 2
midterms and a paper on the 13, and a midterm on the 14.  No time must
be wasted for these events.
I consider myself to be a thoughtless, uncaring person to wish all
this ill-will upon Fang.  So please don't tell me I'm either of these
things, cause I know I am.  However, in order to create an image of
not being a total dick, if any of you have suggestions for helping
Fang, please send them to me.  I basically need something that will
stop his denial state.
Okay, until next time, diamonds are forever, and so is the Fang Killer.
BIP

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