Welcome to the Bip Report. We certainly have a treat for you folks today. We have with us today "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair.
Bip: How are you doing today Mr. Flair?
Ric: BBBBBBBB-IIIIIIIIIIIIIII-PPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
B: I'm really glad I could get you Ric. I really appreciate you taking the time to come.
R: WELL, BIP! You know what they say. Ya gotta help the little guy. WOOOOO!!!!
B: Um, who says that?
R: The NATURE BOY! WOOOO!!!
B: How has the WCW been treating you?
R: WELL, THE WCW AND ME ARE LIKE OIL AND WATER. WE DON'T MIX!! THEY TOOK ME TO COURT, BUT I SHOWED THEM WHY I AM THE NATURE BOY!!! WOOOO!!!!!
B: Okay. Now, some people have been criticizing your wrestling ability. They say, "Ric Flair's too old, he's lost his appeal," not in those words... What do you have to say to that?
R: IF THEY THINK I'M TO OLD. THEN THEY GOT A SOMETHING COMING! THIS IS THE YEEEAAAAR OF THE NATURE BOY! WOOOO!!! AND ANOTHER THING BIP! WOOOO! IF I WAS OLD, COULD I DO THIS??????
B: Wha...whoa. whoa. Hey. Ric Flair...Ric Flair is DANCING right here! He's doing some kind of strut and...
R: WOOOOOO!!!!!!!
B: I have to say, that was quite impressive Mr. Flair. That's pretty good.
R: BIP, I JUST WANT ALL YOUR READERS TO KNOW, RIC FLAIR IS HERE TO STAY! WOOOO!!!!
B: Alright. I'm sure they know now! Now what do you think of the Bip Report? Or any of the other E-mails you've read here?
R: BIP! THE BIP REPORT IS...Woooooooooooo.
B: Oh, wow! It's worth another strut?
R: THAT'S RIGHT. NOW MY ONLY QUESTION IS, WHO IS THIS YELLOWMAN?! IT LOOKS LIKE HIS 30K MESSAGES ARE TRYING TO TAKE YOU OVER!!! WELL I GOT NEWS FOR YA, YELLOWMAN. IF YA WANNA BE THE MAN, YA GOTTA BEAT THE MAN! WOO.
B: Mr. Flair, Jon is a good friend! I don't think you should be..
R: SCREW HIM! YOU WANNA BE THE BEST IN THE INDUSTRY, YA GOTTA BE RUTHLESS. 4 HORSEMEN!!!! 4 HORSEMEN!!!!
B: Okay...well, um...sure. Now, you've been around a while, and you've met many of the influencial figures in the sport. What do you think about the recent election of Jesse "The Body" Ventura?
R: WELL BIP, I NEVER REALLY LIKED JESSE! AND WE ALLLLLL KNOW THAT THE NATURE BOY IS THE REEEAL PIONEER OF THE INDUSTRY! WOOOO! AND COME HOG WILD, THAT INTERN IS THE LAST THING HE NEEDS TO WORRY ABOUT.
B: Um, I think that's Bill Clinton with the int...
R: YOU TALKING BACK TA THA NATURE BOY?! I'M GONNA TAKE JESSE AND...
Jesse: What are you saying, Ric?!
B: oh my gosh, ladies and gentlemen, it's the new governor of Minnesota, Jesse "The Star" Ventura! Welcome Mr. Ventura.
J: The Star? What the hell are you talking about, you pencil neck twerp! I'll break you in half!
B: Um, sorry.
J: And as for you Ric, I'm too busy to deal with you now. But you better watch your back. When I'm through paying a thoasand dollars to every citizen in Minnesota, I'm coming for YOU!
R: I'LL BE WAITING! CAUSE THE NATURE BOY DOESN'T BACK DOWN FROM ANYBODY! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
B: Well, we're almost out of time here, Mr. Flair. Last question, what do you think about my roommate, Fang Zhou?
R: WELL, BIP! I DON'T LIKE THAT GUY! HE STINKS!
B: Yes he does.
R: I'VE WRESTLED SOME STINKY GUYS IN MY DAY! BUSHWHACKER LUKE? STINK!!!! BUT FANG, HE IS THE WORST!
Fang: Hey man, what are you guys doing? Is this one of your Hawaii friends Dan?
R: WOOOOOO!!!!!!
B: No! No! Oh my... No, Mr. Flair... OH no..Oh... Folks, Ric Flair has Fang in the figure-four leg lock! No one does the figure-four better than Ric Flair! Not Greg the Hammer Valentine, not anyone! Oh my...
R: WOOOOOO!!!!!!
F: Aw man! Aw man! So f---ed up! So f---ed up! AaaarHHaaaaaaHHHH!!!
B: Actually...
R: THAT'S RIGHT BIP! KICK HIS HEAD NOW! WOOOOOO!!!!
B: Beat down!
R: WOOO!!!!
F: Aw, Dan! Aw, man! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!
B: Woo hoo! Take dat! Hey, it's Joe Pesci! Hey, come kick Fang!
Joe: What?! This sorry f---er? Okay!
kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick
J: You like that you f---er?! You worthless piece of s--! You stupid s---!
F: AAHhaaaahhhhh!!!!
J: Are you crying now? Are you a baby? Are you a f---in baby? Well take this, you baby!!!!
kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick
B: Okay, guys. That's enough. Thanks Joe.
J: Yeah, no problem.
B: Well that's all the time we have for today. Let me thank you again Ric.
R: NOOO PROBLEM, BIP!!!
B: Well until next time, diamonds are forever and.....
R: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BIP