Welcome to the Bip Report, THE MOST ELECTRIFYING LETTER IN E-MAIL ENTERTAINMENT TODAY!!!
"The Great American Smokeout"
Does anyone else think this sounds more pro-smoking than anti-smoking? Smokeout? I picture a bunch of guys sitting around toking.
"Special Guest"
Here is a very special guest for y'all. The notorious Cody.
I am writing to you tonight to tell you a very special story about the joke I played on Fang on last Saturday night. I had been out partying very hard and I stumbled home very drunk. I knocked on Dan and Fang's room to get my daily dose of laughing at Fang, but he was not home. So I decided to change his answering machine message to something that Fang's parents would really appreciate. I said, "Hello this Fang. I like to have sex with men and animals. I like to have sex with men and animals and if Mom or Dad this is you, Fuck You!!! Go to Hell." I am not exaggerating this is what I really said and Fang did not discover this for four days. A lady called offering Fang a job and when she heard the message she said that is was a, "very intersting message." That is all for today but I will keep you updated on my other pranks on Fang.
How's that. How is that. Cody ladies and gentlemen. Now if only I can get James on the program. Then it's all good.
"Housing"
I am most happy to report that next semester, I will be getting out of this dump, and away from Fang, and moving into a real dorm! That's right, there was a lottery to determine the waiting list for about 360 people. Guess what number I am? 5 baby. 5. Oh HELL YEAH!!!! I don't know where I will end up. Hopefully not in Clark Kerr boonies. Or Unit 2 mug-fest. But I ought to get a good sport. Norton Love? Spens-Black? Foothill Ski Resort? Baby BAby! If you don't know now ya know, Bip is kickin it here on the Repizort.
"Big Game Suckas"
Ey yo! It's survey time. Did y'all come here to see the Cardinals? BOOOOOOOO
Or did you come here to see the GOL-DEN BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Nah, but Stanford folks, who's coming up here?
"Thanksgiving"
For all of you guys in this area, Cal folks, USF, Davis, UOP, Stanford, and SCU. What are you doing for Thanksgiving? If you don't have any plans, E-mail me. I'm going down to relatives in Cupertino. If you have absolutly nothing to do, I can probably beg my sister and aunty to let you come. I know most of you got stuff to do, but if not, the doors are open.
"Cowboy"
I suppose I'm learning the hard way about Human Nature. I will give Cowboy one more try. If not, then the question arrises what becomes of the Cowboy Fund money? Marilyn, Josh, Emily, and John...you can decide if i should a) send the money back to you, b) look for a new guy to sponsor, c) donate it to a real homeless shelter type thing, or d) something else.
I suppose greed is on of the essential things in human nature. If you look around, there's greed everywhere. Mike Yang told me about the fake bums he saw in Chinatown. Some guy that pretended he couldn't talk, and then Mike's dad gave him $20. They saw the guy later trying to panhandle at a restaurant. But there was this Samoan guy, who was a bus driver that yelled at him. He said the guy rode his bus and has a nice house in Liliha. So I guess that's people for ya. Decieve you, and stab you in the back.
"Goverenment"
Even the government is corrupt (haha, news flash, huh). Well, I always was a firm supporter of the system, but now, I question. As we say in psych, I probably have many predisposing factors, but the Cowboy incident is the precipitating factor, in so much as I question the intent of everyone now. I figure, the only legit government around is Minnesota. Cause you know Mr. Ventura ain't takin any funny stuff there.
So I'm thinking there are inherent problems with the way things are being worked around here. I notice that the police here are now trying to carry out the new ordinances to "clean up" the streets and get rid of the gutter punks. But people are still getting mugged in South Side, while they're busy carting away the harmless hippies. Some of these hippie (some, not crazy stupid woman) are nice people. Such as the Comic Book guy. I'm thinking I should have set the fund up for him instead of Cowboy now, but we shall give Cowboy another chance.
Anyway, maybe it's just the Berkeley stereotype talking, but I encourage you to protest things in government that aren't doing well for you. Not dumb things, but real things. Like don't protest Cayetano for not improving the economy that relies on Japan, when Japan is doing s---y. But for laws they pass that are bad, or go against what you believe. It's our right. Okay, I'm done preaching or whatever it is that I am doing.
And that's a wrap. Until next time, diamonds are forever, and so is *sigh* greedy human nature.
BIP