Welcome to the Bip Report.
"UOP Luau"
Well I guess you noticed there was no Bip Report last night. Or not. Anyway, this was because we attended the UOP luau. Let me tell you. This luau kicked ass. Let's list the highlights.
1. Kapena
2. Joe Siofele flying up from St. Louis to perform fire dance.
3. Siofele clan converging in Spanos Center to perform Maori and Samoan slap dance.
4. Kalua pig, poi, lomi, chicken long rice.
Let me now evaluate. Kapena came, and possibly busted the UOP luau budget. But it was worth it. They were choke amusing in entertainment, and they played a lot of songs. The area in front of them became an impromptu dance floor, where everyone started busting a move.
One of the people in the luau is Monalisa Siofele. She is a senior, I think, and is a Tri-Delt with my sister (I think). Anyway, it seems her family makes its residence in the Stockton / San Joquin area. Therefore, for the luau, they had choke ringers coming in and dancing for them. They included the cousins and brothers, etc. They were all around, oh 300 pounds, and some were cut and some were flabby. Nonetheless, when they performed, it was frickin scary. Intense. That is the word for it. Then they had this one that was led by this guy that looks like Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka. That was good too. To top it off, Joe Siofele flew up from Hawaii, cause he is Mona's brother. He did the fire dance, such as what you see in the Polynesian Culture Center commercials. That was nuts. All in all, the performance was quite impressive. We got a lot of work to do for our luau.
The food was good too. Possibly it was just nice to have some kalua pig in the tummy. But either way, it was good. I didn't like the haupia too much, and there was no lau lau, but I'm not complaining.
"After Party"
Hmm...we went to this after party, which was held at this giant house. This is a place that students live in, and it costs $1000 to rent total. My frickin dorm room cost like $700 or something. Frickin Berkeley. Rip off piece of crap. Anyway, let me describe this house. It was two stories. VERY big. Very spacious. And get this. Outside they had a damn swimming pool. They also had this nicely manucured lawn, with tall trees and stuff. Very nice place.
"Cruising"
At the party, we saw many people. Hey Jennifer. Guess who I saw at the after party? Alapa'i. That's right, he came in from Menlo to watch the luau. Brandon Okaneku and Darryl Kunihiro were also present, since they go to the school. Brandon was busy making money in poker, so he can go bowling and beat Robello. Darryl was busy shotgunning beer and whatnot. We also saw Jana and Sunny from USF. Their luau is next week. I saw Ryan Auyoung and Daniel Itano from the classes above us. I don't know what Ryan Auyoung did. I don't know the guy at all. I assume he was socializing with Kelsy and Kris the whole time. Daniel Itano later got introduced to the afore mentioned swimming pool.
"A Bad Plan"
We stayed until late, but we had to be back in Berkely by 11:00 to go dance for at the International House. We decided it was best for Carey to drive back at 4AM to Berkeley. But that's what we did.
At the party, Reese and Greg got small kine red. Meanwhile, I defended the bear against Carey's tiger theory. Around 3ish, we were all getting a little sleepy tipsy and silly. In this state of mind, I thought it would be a good idea to take some shots with Darryl. So we took a shot of vodka. Yay. Then I thought it would be a good idea to take some more shots with Greg. Greg had trouble measuring or something, but he ended up putting two shots into my cup. So we drank that. At this point, I decided that maybe it would be bad to take any more, lest I get destroyed in the next 10 minutes. But in comes Reese, and down goes one more. I went and sat down, and Mariel attempted to make me dizzy with her hands, but I said, "No Mariel. I am fine. Try again in 10 minutes." 10 minutes later, I was not so fine. And then Darryl wanted to take another one, so I decided okay, fine. I talked to Alapa'i a little at this point. We discussed how it was too bad that my sister wasn't here, cause hey, my sister loves Alapa'i. So what Jennifer. Formal too important for us? Yeah. I see how it is.
Then we went outside, and got ready to go back to Berkeley. We had to stop by at Brandon's to get our stuff. This is when I got fully hit. I was having some trouble walking, and pretty much Mariel was enjoying fooling around with me, since I had very poor control of myself. I forgave her, cause this is pretty much what I do to Abe when he gets drunk. And that's fun. Then I decided next time I am there when Abe is drunk, I will wrestle him, as he would like to do. Then I will kick his ass, cause you can't balance for s--- when you're all tipsy like that.
We got our stuff from Brandon's room, and headed back. Moral of the story is, it is a bad idea for 130 pound Bip that never really drank before to drink 5 shots of vodka in less than an hour at 4 AM, before heading on a 1 hour and 30 minute car ride back to Berkeley, with Carey Lew driving over potholes, and a performance at 12:30 later on. Wait, that's not a moral. That's more of a conclusion.
"The Performance"
When I woke up, I was pretty much fine. Except for the fact that I was extremely hungry, and the last thing in my stomach was those shots. But the show must go on. So we headed over to Kristy's, and did some practice. We got the thing down pat. Or so we thought.
By the way. This International House thing was like our pre-luau practice run. It was for Cal Day, and we had to look good to attract potential incoming freshmen. We failed.
The girls were on first, and they did awesome. Then it was us. Let's just say it was no UOP. We were so off beat, it wasn't even funny. Then there's the fact that the stage is choke small. So we couldn't do full motions, lest we fall off. It was no good. The girls tried to comfort us, and said it was not bad. But we know better. We sucked.
"Mike Yang"
Partially we did not do good, cause there was no Mike Yang. He was busy dancing Dance Works, which is like hip-hop dance team stuff. We watched him perform on Sproul, after getting some much needed food from Cheese & Stuff. We saw Michelle Cheng and this girl Karen, and we watched Mike dance. He did not disappoint. Mike is a dancing machine. He can do this slide step. He can do the puppet master thing. He can Robocop. We were impressed. Good job, Mike.
"Grebe"
Then by total chance, I ran into the man called Grebe. Grebe was randomly visiting Cal with two friends. Just so happened I ran into him. I took him up to Foothill to show him my room. This is when I discovered that Danny and Ed had went to Costco, and now we have choke food. Plus the shifted around Ed's bed and desk. Grebe is enjoying himself at USF. He has found his niche, so to speak. He is going to New Zealand this summer for a couple weeks. After seeing the room, and cruising for a little while, he left, to go back on the Telegraph tour.
"Car Explosion"
I wish I was in my room at 3AM instead of in UOP. Cause right outside our window, a car exploded. That's right. It spontaneously combusted. Danny and Ed were there to see it. They were quite shocked, cause cars don't normally spontaneously combust. They called the fire dept. and pulled the fire alarm and stuff. They suspect arson. The thing is, it is literally right outside our room. Our room is on level with the sidewalk and the road. The car exploded there, and now there is all kinds of metal, glass, and burnt stuff outside our room.
"Rival Schools"
After Grebe left, and Danny and Ed got back, we hunkered down, and began our Rival Schools marathon. This game is choke fun. It is just a regular fighting game, but it is like a cross between Street Fighter vs. X-Men (in that you choose two characters) and Tekken (in the look and play of the game). Very fun.
Okay, that's all for me. Until next time, diamonds are forever, and so is UOP luau.
BIP