Welcome to the Bip Report.
"Clearing Things Up"
Okay, I didn't think anyone would be dumb enough to think yesterday's Bip Report was true. I mean that I got contacted by NBC. But James Mang E-mailed me, questioning about that. Well, it takes a Mang. Come on James. Seriously. What are you thinking?
"Luau"
Okay, if the quality of our Samoan Slap Dance is measured by how much bruising we have, then we are frickin awesome. Maybe I just bruise easily. Like after wrestling tournaments, when you have all these mysterious scrathes and red marks all over your deltoids and stuff.
At any rate, I am frickin bruised like hell. I got home, and my thighs were all tingly, so I checked, and holy crap! They are RED. It's like I am Abe, turning around and saying "Thank you, sir. May I have another?" except transported to my thighs. Well, not that bad. Nothing can be that bad. But damn, still yet I have choke broken blood vessels.
"John's Story"
John, I find your whole predicament very amusing. I remember that picture as well. I always wondered why you were in that picture, and now it is finally answered. This reminds me of a picture that I have in maybe the Junior Year yearbook. It features me, I think Nolan, Emily Chun, and maybe 3 other people, along with a random Thomas Li and Prom. I think they like to put random things like that in. As well as distort people's quotations. Right Nolan? The dolphins are good, yeah?
Okay, that's all for now. Until next time, diamonds are forever, and so is Sterling.
BIP