2-14


OOOOOOOHHH   OOH OOH OOOOOOOH AHHHHH BIIIIP LOVE!
OOOOOOOHHH   OOH OOH OOOOOOOH AHHHHH BIIIIP LOVE!
 

Ow!  Welcome you crazy cats to the Bip Love Love Shack!  Well today is a very special day indeed!  That's right, daddy-o, it's Valentine's Day!  And Bip Love's got a lot of lovin to give out today!  First off to all the lovely ladies out there on the Bip Report, I'd like to wish each and every one of you a Happy, Happy Valentine's Day.
 

Now let's get into it.  Tonight was a little busy for the Dude.  I went out with a coupla of swingin' ladies to a nice dinner and a movie.  Ow!  Haaaave Mercy!  And the .......
 

DO YA SMELL WHAT THE BIP IS COOKING?
The Bip:  Alright you no good piece of monkey crap, Bip Love.  Just what the hell do you think you're doing?
Bip Love:  Heeeeeeey!  It's my good buddy The Bip!  How are you doing?
TB:  GET your damn hands off of me, ya dumb jabroney!  The Bip doesn't need your trailer trash rubbed all over me!
BL:  Hey Man!  I'm just spreading the love!  It's Valentine's Day!
TB:  Well I tell you what.  You can take your love, and your Valentine's Day, and your entire monkey crap Bip Love Love Shack, and drive it up Jabroney Drive, and take that left on Know Your Role Blvd.  Cause you're about to be checked into the SMACK DOWN HOTEL!
BL:  OW!  Hey!  Ah!
TB:  The Bip says to get your no-good, roooody poo CANDY ASS, and march it out of this damn E-mail, cause The Bip is in charge now!
BL:  Ah, come on man!
*Enter me*
BOTH:  It's Bip!
Bip:  That's right.  Now The Bip, I'm going to have to ask you to step down.
TB:  The Bip doesn't step down for anybody!  Do you understand?
Bip:  Now hold on just a second!  I'm sure we can find a way to work this all out.
BL:  Hey, Bip-o!  My main man!  It's good that you're here to put a little sense in The Bip!  You got to chiiiill dude!
Bip:  That's right The Bip.  You have to calm down.  I gave the Bip Report over to Bip Love.  And he's doing a fine job.
TB:  A fine job?  That no-good piece of trash wouldn't know a fine job if it bit him on the ass.  All these Bip Love Reports look like about ten pounds of monkey crap in a five pound bag!
BL:  Hey, Bip!  Can't you do something about this guy?
Bip:  Yeah.  I sure can.  *PICKS UP CHAIR*
TB:  Hey!  What the...
Bip:  * Hits BIP LOVE with chair*
Bip:  Now put that in your pipe and smoke it, you good for nothing punk!
BL:  whimper
Bip:  Hey, I think I hear a baby.  Do you hear a baby, The Bip?
TB:  Ya daaaaamn right I do!
kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick
TB:  Wait, wait, wait!  I think it's time for THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MOVE IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TODAY!  *Deliver's the Corporate Elbow*
TB:  If ya smeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, what The Bip is cooking!
Bip:  That's right Bip Love.  You see, I've watched for the past few days as you've destroyed all that I've worked so hard to build.  And I'll be damned if I sit around and watch...how's it go The Bip?...Your roooooody poooo, CANDY ASS carry it on any longer!  I gave the Report to you, true.  But now, I'm taking it back.  Because tomorrow night, on the FIRST Match-Ups of this new year, We will have as the main event The Report's Champion The Bip, representing the Bip Report vs. Bip Love and his crappy Bip Love Shack.  The decree is set!  So let it be written.  So let it be done.
 

That's right folks.  Tomorrow will be The Bip vs. Bip Love in a loser leaves town match!  If The Bip can win, then Bip will return to carry on the Bip Report, as it was.  If Bip Love wins, may God have mercy on us all.  Be there, or be square!

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